My Immortal Written in Proper English
by The Unimpressive Spider-Guy
Summary: My Immortal is a so bad it's good Harry Potter fanfiction story written by Tara Gilesbie in 2006 on Fanfiction's website. Even to this day it is highly debated whether or not Tara was a troll or not. I have decided to translate the original 44 chapters in proper English. So now people can hopefully read all 44 chapters easier. So anyways please enjoy My Immortal and R&R!
1. Chapters 1 - 22

**My Immortal Written in Proper English**

**Volume 1**

**Chapters 1 – 22**

This is my attempt at trying to translate My Immortal into proper English the best way I can. I have no idea if anyone else has done this yet or not but figured I would give it a try. I will also try to translate the author notes as well. I might even insert my own commentary when I feel it's necessary. Since My Immortal was never finished though it will sadly be left without any kind of ending. I know that most people want to believe that this is indeed a trollfic but I personally believe it was written by a teenage girl who couldn't write to save her life. I'll hold on to this belief until it's proven without a doubt that it was indeed written by a troll. Anyways My Immortal was originally written in 2006 on Fanfiction's website by Tara Gilesbie and hasn't been updated since 2007. Some of my commentary is pretty snarky but I feel that it is warranted. I do not apologize for my snarky comments towards Tara and her story at all!

AN: Special fangs (Get it? Because I'm gothic.) to my girlfriend (Eww not in that way!) Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling you rock! Justin you're the love of my depressing life you rock too and MCR also rocks!

(Have I mentioned that Tara is heterosexual today?)

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: If you don't know who she is then get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white and I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in **SCOTLAND** where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (In case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets, and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eyeshadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me and I put up my middle finger at them.

(There's no reason to give random people the middle finger, Tara. Also how is an American allowed to go to Hogwarts? Which is in Scotland not England, Tara!)

"Hey Ebony!" Shouted a voice.

It was...Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go.

(Wow that conversation was really short and completely pointless! Anyone else notice that most of these chapters aren't even a page long?)

AN: Is it good? Please tell me and thanks!

(I bet Tara wishes she hadn't asked that question considering most of her reviews were made up of angry comments and trolls pretending to like the story. I will not entertain the idea that someone unironically liked this "story" ever.)

AN: Thanks to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the way preps stop flaming my story! Okay?

The next day I woke up in my bedroom and It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took off my MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots, and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven this is you!) woke up and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets, and pointy high-heeled boots. We then put on our makeup (black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner.)

(Why stop at putting one friend in your story? Why not add your whole family as well? As the old saying goes the more the merrier!)

"Oh, my fucking god, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" She said excitedly.

"Yeah...So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" She asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No, I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" She exclaimed.

(Tara you're not fooling anyone! We all know the reason why you wrote this story is so your OC could fuck Draco.)

Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I replied flirtatiously.

"Guess what?" He said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." He told me.

"Oh, my fucking god!" I screamed. "I love GC they are my favorite band, besides MCR."

"Well...do you want to go with me?" He asked.

I gasped.

(If by now you were on the fence on whether or not Tara knows much about Harry Potter...well this should put those fears to rest. GC was only a year old in 1997 the year this story is supposed to take place in. MCR didn't exist for several years later in the early 2000s. But of course Tara being well...Tara it's obvious that this actually takes place in 2006. Almost 10 years after Harry and his friends finished their education at Hogwarts. Though to be fair to Tara the 7th book didn't release until 2007. But what I'm trying to say is that Tara doesn't actually know shit about the Harry Potter series. I know I'm just as surprised as you are to find out about this. I also feel betrayed.)

AN: STOP FLAMING THE STORY PREPS! Okay? Otherwise thanks to the gothic people for the good reviews! Thanks again Raven! Oh yeah, By the way I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.

(Yeah preps stop flaming this shitty ass written story! Don't you know good fanfiction when see it? Only a prep would expect a well written story with decent grammar and spelling! Clearly this is the work of the Prepriarchy [Preps + Patriarchy] who are trying to keep the goths and punks oppressed in our modern day society. I can't believe I actually wrote that...I think this story is raping my mind.)

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather mini dress with a corset. I then put on a matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish, and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of cool boys wear it! Okay?).

(Draco doesn't own a flying car Tara! You're thinking of Ron.)

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." He said back.

We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (The license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and marijuana. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood.

They're all so happy you've arrived.

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom.

She sets you free into this life." Sang Joel (I don't own the lyrics to that song).

(Yeah no fucking shit Sherlock of course you don't own the rights to these lyrics!)

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music.

Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

(Yeah obvious love interest who I will definitely not try to cheat on with Vampire/Harry, Tom Riddle/Voldemort, and probably many other male characters also. I promise!)

"Really?" Asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff.

"I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

(It's funny because a few months later they broke up. Making this statement pretty outdated.)

The night went on really well, and I had a great time so did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and took photos with them. We got GC concert tees as well. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into...the Forbidden Forest!

AN: I said stop flaming! Okay? Ebony's name is EBONY not Mary Sue! Okay? DRACO IS SO IN LOVE with her that he is acting different and they knew each other before! Okay?

(Yeah it should be noted that in the actual Harry Potter franchise that Draco is a pureblood supremacist who hates mudbloods. Draco also doesn't use muggle inventions like cars because he was raised in an environment of pure-blood supremacy. Draco would also most likely never have heard of bands like Good Charlotte or My Chemical Romance either. Even if he had heard of them he would scoff at them in disdain because they are muggle bands. On the topic of relationships Draco was somewhat of an elitist control freak in the actual HP books. If Draco was ever in a relationship in the books and films he would be the one in charge. There's no way in hell that the "real" Draco would ever be so dependent on any girl. Lastly Draco was actually a staunch supporter of Voldemort's pureblood supremacy views and his father was a Death Eater. Oh sorry I meant Death Deeler.)

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then suddenly Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He then took off my top and then I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then he put his thingy into my you know what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed I was beginning to get an orgasm.

We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

(This is probably my favorite line in the whole damn story if I'm being honest.)

It was…Dumbledore!

AN: STOP flaming if you flame it means you're a prep or a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache. Okay? And on top of that he was mad at them for having sex! Also, I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!

(I don't exactly remember when Fanfiction made it against the rules to hold chapters hostage but either way it's a dick move. For anyone out there interested in writing fanfiction please avoid doing this it's rude and doesn't make people want to read your story. If people want to review your story they will but holding chapters hostage isn't going to make things better.)

Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him and he kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" He shouted.

(Originally this said Ludacris but I have a feeling that Tara wasn't talking about the rapper.)

I started to cry tears of blood down my pale face and Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry at us.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" He yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" Asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you!" Professor Snape yelled.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" Draco shrieked with a derpy look on his face.

Everyone was quiet Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said…

"Very well then you may go up to your rooms."

(Remember kids if you ever get caught having sex by authority figures just tell everyone that you love the person that you were caught having sex with. Then everything will be fine and you will be told that the both of you can leave. No repercussions once so ever…)

Draco and I then went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied.

I then went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out…

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I Just Wanna Live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed after that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

AN: Shut up preps! Okay? I won't update until you give me good reviews!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray painted my hair with purple.

(I want everyone to remember this part for later on because it's going to be important later. Just trust me on this…)

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me and all the blood spilled over my top.

(I think I'm more upset that Count Chocula wasn't used as an actual character in this story. Come on Tara you had one job!)

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily.

I regretted saying it when I looked up because I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that it was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's. There was no scar on his forehead anymore either. He had a manly stubble on his chin and a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

(The first major Harry Potter character with a name change and it's none other than Harry himself. Also, it appears that Tara's knowledge of Harry has seem to bled into Ebony's mind somehow. Since as far as we know this is the first time that Ebony has met Harry. So, the question I have is how she knows about his glasses and scar?)

"I'm so sorry." He said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." He grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." He giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" He whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

AN: Well okay you guys I'm only writing this because I got five good reviews. By the way I won't write the next chapter till I get TEN good reviews! STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a Mary Sue…okay? She isn't perfect SHE'S A SATANIST and she has problems she's depressed for god's sake!

(Remember everyone if people say things you don't like then just report them to whoever is in charge. Cause that's definitely the best way to handle your own problems. Not like you can just ignore them or anything like that. Also, Tara says that Ebony is most definitely not a Mary Sue but we will soon find out how wrong that statement is. Also guys she's a Satanist, has problems, and gets depressed a lot! If you get depressed all the time you really need to get help because that isn't healthy.)

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish together as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist signs on my nails in red nail polish (AN: See? Does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?). I waved to Vampire dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me since I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco we went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started Frenching passionately and we took off each other's clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took off my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We then went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in my you know what and we HAD SEX. (See? Is that stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden, I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words…Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded but I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have Aids anyway!"

(Well to be fair to Ebony we don't know if Draco has been using protection during sex or not. But then again this is a world with magic so I'm not sure if there are spells or potions that prevent STDs or gets rid of them. Why am I putting this much thought into a shitty fanfiction story? Also, pretty amusing coming from someone who finds bisexual and homosexual males hot. I guess they're only hot as long as they aren't fucking her either that or she just gets easily jealous.)

I put all my clothes on in a huff and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big thingy but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

AN: Stop flaming! Okay? If you do then you are a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understandingly. She flipped her long waist-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin and white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother. And her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Gryffindor.)

(Really Tara? Smith? Out of all the names you could have given Hermione you chose Smith? That's such a boring ass last name!)

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit?!" Snape demanded angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

(I don't think Tara/Ebony knows how relationships work. Draco and Ebony were in a relationship together as far as we know. Vampire/Harry however was not in a relationship with Ebony. So, Ebony has no reason to be mad at anyone at this very moment. But then again, she's an idiot so I'm not surprised by this at all.)

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had gone out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now and he had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

(Oh, look we get Draco's point of view well isn't that a nice change! Well right off the bat I can tell you already what's wrong. Draco says that both he and Ebony are bisexual. Well this is half true but also half false. I believe that Draco is bisexual in this story along with most if not all the other male characters. Ebony on the other hand is most definitely heterosexual without a shadow of a doubt. She never once makes out or has sex with another girl in this story. In fact, Tarra herself has told us that girl on girl is yucky but guy on guy is totally okay. Which is pretty common among the yaoi fangirl community. Also, let's take a moment to address the prep bashing as well. Because if what I remember about Draco is true then Ebony should really hate his guts. Because I'm pretty sure Draco himself is a prep in the books and movies. But then again nobody comes close to resembling their original selves.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" Said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.

I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity to Draco and then I started to burst into tears.

(Originally this sentence had the word virility instead of virginity. So according to the original text Draco stole Ebony's manliness in the Forbidden Forest. Ebony confirmed as transexual?)

AN: Stop flaming! Okay? I didn't read all the books! This is from the movie. Okay? So, it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears! Besides I SAID HE HAD A HEADACHE! And the reason Snape doesn't like Harry now is cause he's Christian and Vampire is a Satanist! Also, MCR ROCKS!

I was so mad and sad I couldn't believe Draco cheated on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

(I thought she said Vampire cheated on her? How did Draco cheat on her if both him and Vampire were no longer together? Is it still considered cheating even though they were in a relationship with someone else prior to being together now? So many questions that will never be answered.)

Then all of a sudden, a horrible man with red eyes and no nose started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was…Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperio!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crucio!" I shouted at him.

Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Ebony." That gent did yell. "Thou might not but killeth Vampire Pott'r!"

I thought about Vampire and his sexy eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

(Oh, hey look everyone Ebony figured out how relationships work…kind of. Yay?)

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun.

"No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou wilt!" That gent did yell. "If thou don't, then I shalt killeth thy belov'd Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked surprised.

Voldemort then got a dude you're so retarded look on his face.

"I hath telepathy." That gent answ'r'd cruelly. "And if 't be true thee doth not killeth Vampire, then thou shalt knoweth what shall befall to Draco!" That gent did shout.

Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do but then suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." He said back but his face was all sad.

He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (Get it?) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." He answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I explained.

"That's okay." He said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together while making out.

(And this ladies and attack helicopters is what happens when you end up being a beta male soy boy. Don't end up like Draco is all I'm saying and if you learn nothing else from this awful story then at least take that advice if nothing else.)

AN: Stop it you gay fags if you don't like my story then fuck off! It turns out B'loody Mary isn't a muggle after all and she and Vampire are evil that's why they moved houses! Okay?

(Looks like Tara's bigotry towards homosexuals is coming through her text. If Vampire and B'loody are evil then why are you hanging around them? Better question is why do I care?)

I was really scared about Voldemort all day. I was even upset during rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot, and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron, (Although we call him Diablo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hagrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (He wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a stake) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

(Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to remember this because it's going to be brought up again shortly. Also remember the last time I told you to remember something? Yeah well, this right here is why. Tara had no problem writing the word cross before but now she does. Why? Who the fuck even knows at this point! Look I'm atheist and even I have no problem writing the word cross. Also, did you seriously write an author's note within an author's note? You may or may not be a slut Ebony but you most definitely dress like one.)

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly burst into tears.

"Ebony! Are you okay?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerned voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily and then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" He shouted. "How could you…you…you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (See? Is that out of character?)

I started to cry and cry and then Draco started to cry too and then he ran away.

We then practiced for one more hour and then suddenly Dumbledore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't because he had a headache.

"What have you done?!" He started to cry wisely.

AN: See? That's not swearing and this time he was really upset and you will see why.

"Ebony, Draco has been found in his room he committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

(How the hell do you cry wisely anyways? Moving on to the important part of my commentary. So anyways remember when I told you to remember Ebony's little trivia about vampires not being able to commit suicide by slitting their wrists? Well apparently, Tara has decided that she now wants to retcon that information which is in the same chapter. This might be the fastest retconning I have ever seen. Now some people have speculated that Voldemort kidnapped Draco and left a fake dead body that looks like him. Personally, I just think Tara fucked up and contradicted herself but that's just me.)

AN: I said stop flaming preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! So, see for yourself if it's stupid. By the way thanks to my friend Raven for helping me!

"NO!" I screamed I was horrified!

B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her to fuck off and I ran to my room crying. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a stake and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sadly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. Then I looked out the window and screamed…Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! Lupin was masturbating to it they could be seen sitting on their broomsticks.

"EWW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT?!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it and then suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Avada Kedavra!" He yelled at Snape and Lupin pointing his wand at them.

I took my gun and shot at Snape and Lupin twenty times and they both started screaming and the camera broke and then suddenly, Dumbledore ran in.

"Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has…NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shouted looking at Snape and Lupin and then he waved his wand.

Suddenly Hagrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hagrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…" Hagrid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled madly.

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is fine!"

I felt faint, more than I usually do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his thingy.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…" Hagrid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then he started singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're gothic?" Snape asked in a scared voice because he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

AN: Stop flaming! Okay? Hagrid is a pedophile to a lot of people. American schools are like that I wanted to address the issue! How do you know Snape isn't Christian? Plus, Hagrid isn't really in love with Ebony that was Cedric! Okay?

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Draco had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS Hagrid but it was Vampire.

He started to scream. "OH, MY FUCKING GOD! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" And then…his eyes rolled up you could only see his red sclera.

I stopped.

"How did you know?"

"I saw it and my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore?!" I shouted.

"I do but Diablo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." He said back. "Anyway, my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…Voldemort has him in bondage!"

I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snape, Lupin, and Hagrid were there too. They were going to St. Mungo's after they recovered because they were pedophiles. And you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot girls. Dumbledore had confiscated the video camera they took of me naked. I then put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway, Hagrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Ebony I need to tell u something." He said in a very serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped.

Hagrid had been mean to me before for being gothic.

"No Ebony." Hagrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goths too you poser prep?" I asked because I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily.

"No, you didn't" I replied. "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton sex video made from my shower and being viewed by Snape and Lupin who MASTURBATED (See? Is that spelled wrong?) to it!" I added quietly.

"Whatever!" I yelled angrily.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered. "Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you had to say!"

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal chords." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio (For all you cool gothic MCR fans out, there, that is a tribute! Especially for Raven I love you girl!) imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air and it was black now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you! Now where the fuck is Draco?"

Hagrid rolled his eyes and I looked into the balls of flame but I could see nothing.

"You see, Ebony," Dumbledore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "To see what is in the flames (HAHAHA YOU REVIEWERS ARE FLAMES! GET IT?) you must find yourself first, okay?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hagrid yelled.

Dumbledore looked shocked but I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hagrid then stormed off back to his house. "You are a liar, Professor Dumbledore!"

Anyway, when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. I put on a corset as well and then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Sadako from the Ring (If you don't know who she is then you're a prep so fuck off!) and I put on blood red lipstick, black eyeliner, and black lip gloss.

"You look kawaii, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly.

"Thanks, you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset.

I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snape and Lupin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes and Vampire was in the Care of Magical Creatures class. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way.

"Hi back." I said in an equally sad way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Draco. Then we jumped on each other and started fucking each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" Shouted Professor McGonagall who was watching us along with the rest of the class.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to fuck me you know I love Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

(Why is Ebony getting mad at Vampire for fucking her? You can't take it back after getting caught by the teacher. Also, I do believe you have now cheated on Draco which makes you a hypocrite Ebony.)

AN: Special thanks to Raven my gothic blood sister! What the fuck? You're supposed to write this! Hey Raven! Do you know where my sweater is?

AN: Raven thanks for helping me again. I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard but that guy is such a fucking sex bomb! PREPS STOP FLAMING!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore we were so scared.

"Dumbledore! Dumbledore!" We both yelled.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" He asked angrily.

"Voldemort has Draco!" We shouted at the same time.

He laughed evilly.

"No! don't! We need to save Draco!" We begged.

"No." He said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." He said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway."

Then he walked away.

Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" He moaned. (AN: Don't you think gay guys are like so hot!)

(That's very interesting Tara since you seem to like to call your critics gay fags.)

"It's okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him.

He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had an idea.

"I have an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." He said.

He took out his wand and did a spell and then suddenly we were in Voldemort's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a cruel voice say.

"Avada Kedavra!"

It was…Voldemort!

AN: Fuck off PREPS! Okay? Raven thanks for helping again. I'm sorry I couldn't update but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital because I slit my wrists. I'm not updating till you give me ten good reviews!

WARNING: Some of this chapter is extremely scary viewer discretion advised.

We ran to where Voldemort was but It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood while Snaketail was torturing him and then Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

(The guy who killed Cedric is named Wormtail not Snaketail.)

"Get out my sight you despicable preps!" He shouted as we started shooting him with the gun Voldemort gave me. Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey dovey look in his eyes.

"OH MY GOD!" He said.

AN: In this he is sixteen years old so he's not a pedophile. Okay?

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ebony I love you will you have sex with me?" Asked Snaketail.

I started laughing cruelly. "What the fuck? You torture my boyfriend and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily and then I stabbed him in the heart and blood poured out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" He screamed.

He started screaming and running around and then he fell down and died I then burst into tears.

"Snaketail what art thee doing?" Hath called Voldem'rt.

Then he started coming and we could hear his footsteps getting closer to us. So, we got on some broomsticks that we found conveniently nearby and we flew to Hogwarts. Then Draco and I went to my room and I started to cry.

"What's wrong honey?" Asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could fuck. He had a sex-pack (Get it? Because he's so sexy.) and a really huge thingy.

"It's so unfair!" I yelled. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you want to be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway they are such fucking sluts." Answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Lupin took a video of me naked. Hagrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just want to be with you! Okay Draco? Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily.

AN: Don't worry Ebony isn't a snob or anything but a lot of people have told her she's pretty.

"I'm good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

(Well if you ever needed evidence to prove that Ebony is a Mary Sue then here you go.)

AN: Stop flaming! Okay? By the way you suck! From now on every time someone flames me I'm going to slit my wrists! Thanks to Raven for helping!

"Ebony! Ebony!" Shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!" I shouted.

I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists and then I drank the blood. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

(Wait a second wasn't she just in her room with Draco earlier? What the fuck is going on in this shitty ass story?)

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped with a spiky belt around it. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I then put my ebony black hair out and I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did some advanced biology work and I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Then suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

"Ebony I love you!" He shouted sadly. "I don't care what those fucker preps and posers think. You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you, I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just want to fucking be with you I fucking love you!"

Then he started to sing "The Chronicles of Life and Death" (We considered it our song now because we fell in love when Joel was singing it.) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing, gothic, and sexy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre, and Marilyn Manson.

AN: Don't you think those guys are so hot? If you don't know who they are then get the fuck out of here!

"OH, MY FUCKING GOD!" I said after he was finished.

Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them.

"I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hillary Duff (I fucking hate that bitch) and Chad Michael Murray in a Cinderella Story.

Then we went away holding hands and Lupin shouted at us but he stopped because everyone was clapping at how sexy we looked together. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR is having a concert in Hogsmeade right now. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went together.

AN: You know what? Shut up! Okay? Prove to me you're not preps! Raven you suck you fucking bitch give me back my fucking sweater you're supposed to write this! Raven what the fuck you bitch you're supposed to do this! BTW thanks to britney5655 for teaching me Japanese!

(No Tara you're supposed to write this since it's your story. Raven was just the editor not the author of your story. Even though the spelling and grammar wasn't very good when Raven edited the chapters it's still better than when you attempt to write the story yourself.)

We ran happily to Hogsmeade there we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happily and MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in the pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter because I knew that we were the only true ones for each other. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We then frenched and then we ran up to the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask so did the others. We gasped it wasn't them at all it was…Voldemort and Da Death Deelers!

"What the fuck? Draco I'm not going to a concert with you!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time! Even if it is MCR and you know how much I like them!"

"Cause we…you know." He fidgeted around uncomfortably because guys don't like to talk about you know what.

(Wait weren't they just at the concert? What the fuck is going on in this "story"? Tara obviously knows nothing about male humans. Because most people say that guys talk about sex too much. What guys has she been talking to anyways?)

"Yeah because we do…you know!" I yelled in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OH MY GOD! What The Fuck? Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess you're a prep or a Christin or what now?"

"NO." He muttered loudly.

"Are you becoming a prep or what?" I shouted angrily.

"Ebony! I'm not please come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'The world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized the lyrics just for me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we Frenched for a while and I went up to my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there.

"Hajimemashite girl." She said happily (She speaks Japanese and so do I. That means 'how do you do' in Japanese). "By the way Willow that fucking poser got expelled and she failed all her classes and she skipped math."

(Um no Tara it actually means nice to meet you and it's a word you use to greet someone you first meet or someone you haven't seen in a while. Gokigen'yō is the word you're actually looking for here. Also, you can't even master the English language. So why would you even try to use a different language? Anyways as you can clearly see Tara and Raven's friendship has pretty much deteriorated at this point and time. Tara even killed off Willow who was Raven's avatar in this story. Still wish I knew more about their poster-sweater war though.)

AN: RAVEN YOU FUKING SUCK! FUCK YOU!

"It serves that fucking bitch right." I laughed angrily.

Anyway, we were feeling all depressed and we watched some gothic movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas.

"Maybe Willow will die." I said.

"Kawaii." B'loody Mary shook her head lethargically. "Oh yeah I have a confession to make. After she got expelled I murdered her and then Lupin did it with her cause he's a neophiliac."

"Kawaii." I commented happily.

We talked to each other quietly for the rest of the movie.

"Oh, hey by the way, I'm going to a concert with Draco tonight at Hogsmeade where MCR will be playing." I said. "I need to wear like the hottest outfit EVER!"

B'loody Mary nodded energetically.

"Oh, fucking god totally let's go shopping."

"At Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my special Hot Topic loyalty card.

(Tara you do realize that the UK doesn't have Hot Topic…right?)

"No."

'WHAT?" My head spun around and I could not believe it. "B'loody Mary are u a PREP?!"

"NOOOO! NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Who told you about them?" I asked and was sure it would be Draco, Diablo, Vampire, (Don't even SAY that name to me!) or me.

(I'm not entirely sure why Ebony has a problem with Vampire's name currently but I'm sure the reason is pretty stupid either way.)

"Dumbledore." She said. "Let me just call our brooms."

(Wait does Hogwarts have some kind of Uber like broom service? That wouldn't make any sense considering the fact that this was written in 2006. That and Harry Potter was released in the mid to late 90s.)

"Oh, my fucking god! Dumbledore?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going to a few punk-goth stores ESPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OH MY GOD HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT REALLY CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses.

"We only have these for the real goths."

"The real goths?" Me and B'loody Mary asked.

"Yeah you wouldn't believe how many posers there are in this town! Yesterday Lupin and Snape tried to buy a gothic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I didn't even know they had a camera."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD NO THEY'RE GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress and a very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh, my Satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

(Okay seriously who the hell actually says this unironically in real life anyways?)

"Yeah it looks totally hot." said B'loody Mary.

"You know what? I'm going to give it to you for free because you look really hot in that outfit. Hey are you going to be at the concert tonight?" He asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey by the way my name's Ebony Dark'ness Dementia TARA way what's yours?"

(Here we have Tara changing Ebony's name due to her fallout with Raven.)

"Not Tom Riddle." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "Maybe I'll see you there tonight."

(Tara why did you give some OC Voldemort's real name?)

"Yeah I don't think so because I am going there with my boyfriend Draco you sick perv!" I yelled angrily.

Before he could beg me to go with him, Hagrid flew in on his black broom looking worried.

"OH, MY FUCKING GOD EBONY YOU NEED TO GET BACK TO THE CASTLE NOW!"

AN: I said stop flaming the story! If you're a prep then don't read it! You can tell whether you're a prep or not by my quiz it's on my homepage. If you're not then you rock. If you are then FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF! Willow isn't really a prep Raven please do this I promise to give you back your poster!

Not Tom Riddle gave us some clothes for free and he said he would help us with our makeup if we wanted because he was really into fashion and stuff. (He's bisexual.) Hagrid kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts.

"WHAT The FUCK Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fucking bastard!"

Well anyway Willow came and Hagrid left angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." She said.

"Yeah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset with blood red lace on it and a black blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets, and black pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice body with big boobs and she was thin enough to be anorexic.

(I see Willow is back from the dead without any explanation. Anyways this is as close to being bisexual as Ebony gets in the story.)

"So, are you going to the concert with Draco?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said happily.

"I'm going with Diablo." She answered happily.

Well anyway Draco and Diablo came and they were both looking extremely hot and sexy and you could tell they thought we were too. Diablo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons of makeup just like Marilyn Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt, and black Vans he got from the Warped tower. B'loody Mary was going to the concert with Dracula.

(Out of all the characters who had their names changed I think I like Neville Longbottom's the most. Only problem is that I like the misspelled version Dracola more than Dracula.)

Dracula used to be called Neville Longbottom but it turned out that he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They died in a car crash after accidentally getting hit by a logging truck. The wood then ended up going through their hearts and turning them into ashes. Neville converted to Satanism and he went goth and he was in Slytherin now. He was wearing a black Warped t-shirt, black jeans, shoes, and black hair with red streaks in it.

We call him Dracula now and well anyway we all went to Draco's black Mercy-Bens (Get it? Because we're gothic.) that his dad Lucius Malfoy gave him. We did marijuana and cocaine and then Draco and I made out. We also made fun of some random stupid fucking preps that we saw. Eventually we arrived at the concert.

Gerard was the sexiest guy ever he looked even sexier than he did in the pics. He had long raven black hair and piercing hazel eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing erotic voice. We moshed to Helena and some older songs. Suddenly Gerard pulled off his mask and so did the other members. I gasped It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man with no nose and red eyes. Every one ran away except me and Draco. It was then revealed to be none other than Voldemort and Da Death Deelers!

(I don't know about everyone else but I suddenly just got a huge case of déjà vu just now.)

"You m'ronic idiots!" That gent did shout in a v'ry angsty way. "Ebony, I toldeth thee to killeth Vampire thee has't did fail and anon I shalt killeth thee and Draco!"

"No! No! Please don't!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Suddenly a gothic old man flew in on his broomstick. He had long black hair and a long black bread. He was wearing a black robe that said 'Avril Lavigne' on the back. He shouted a spell and Voldemort ran away.

It was…DUMBLEDORE!

AN: I SAID STOP FLAMING! If you do then you're a fucking prep! Thanks to Raven for the help you rock and you're not a prep. Thanks for my sweater! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he is trying to be gothic so there!

I woke up the next day in my coffin and then I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyeshadow, blood-red lipstick, and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped to stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

The night before Draco and I went back to the skull (Get it? Skull? Because I'm gothic and I like death). Dumbledore chased Voldemort away and we flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and red and there was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR broom and we went back to our rooms and we had sex to a Linkin Park song.

(Um what happened to Draco's car?)

Well anyway I went down to the Great Hall and all the walls were painted black and the tables were black too. But you could see that there was pink paint underneath the black paint. And there were posters of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson, N'Sync, and the Backstreet Boys.

"What the fuck?!" I shouted as I sat next to B'loody Mary and Willow.

B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets, and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula, and Draco came and we started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey, Gerard Way, or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in because they were bi.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Neville was saying.

Suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard appeared. He was the same one who had chased away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal white skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had dyed his hair black.

"DUMBLEDORE?!" We all gasped.

(I thought we already established it was Dumbledore?)

"What the fuck!?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort!"

"Hello everyone." He said happily. "As you can see I gave the room a makeover. What do you think about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!

"By the way you can call me Albert." He said as we left to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we went to Transformation class.

We were holding hands and Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (Get it? Way? Like Gerard.) but I didn't say anything.

"I bet he's having a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry.

AN: Please stop flaming the story if you do you're a fucking prep and you're jealous! Okay? From now on I'm going to delete your mean reviews! By the way Ebony is a pureblood so there! Thanks to Raven for the help!

All day we sat angrily thinking about Dumbledore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward to the MCR concert. It had been postponed until now, so now we could all go.

(How many fucking concerts does Hogwarts have? Seems like there's a new one almost every day. Not to mention they are muggle bands. How does that work?)

Anyway, I went to the common room to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive and I asked what it was and he got all mad at me and started crying (Aren't sensitive bi guys so hot?).

"No one fucking understands me!" He shouted angrily as his black hair went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

(Originally this said Borken Dreamz and honestly, I don't remember Swedish Chef ever doing a cover of Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams before. But if he did I would totally listen to it!)

He was wearing black baggy pants, a black MCR t-shirt, and a black tie. I was wearing a black leather low cut top with chains all over it and a black leather mini, black high heeled boots, and a cross belly ring. My hair was all up in a messy really high bun like Amy Lee in Going Under. (Email me if you want to see the pic.)

(No thanks Tara I'm good!)

"Accuse me? What about me?!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" He grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

(Okay this argument makes no fucking sense once so ever. They were fine just a second ago and now they are arguing about who the fuck even knows what at this point. I'm starting to think that Ebony is bipolar.)

But it was too late I knew what I heard. I ran to the bathroom angrily, crying. Draco banged on the door and I wept and wept as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks. And made cool tears run down my face like Benji in the video for Girls and Boys (Raven that is SO our video!). I took out a joint and started to smoke some marijuana.

Suddenly Hagrid appeared in the room.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my weed. "What the fuck do you think you're doing in the girl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Hagrid someone else was with him too! For a second, I wanted it to be Not Tom Riddle or maybe Draco but it was Dumbledore.

(Does Ebony just forget what Dumbledore looks like every time?)

"Hey I need to ask you a question." He said, pulling out his black wannabe gothic purse. "What are you wearing to the concert?"

"You know who MCR is?!" I gasped.

"No, I just saw there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks were going to." He said. "Anyway, Draco has a surprise for you."

(You know this whole goth vs prep thing in this story reminds me of normies vs non normies on the internet.)

AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming! Okay preps? Thanks to Raven for the help! Oh yeah by the way I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next three days so don't expect updates.

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a black leather mini, a black corset with purple lace all over it, and black gothic combat boots. MCR were going to do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to Thank You for The Venom. I got all mad and turned it off, but secretly I had hoped that it was Draco so we could fuck again.

"What the fucking hell are you doing?!" I shouted angrily.

It was Lupin!

"Are you going to come rape me or what?" I yelled and I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since he was a pedophile.

"No, actually can I please have some condoms." He growled angrily.

"Yeah, so you can fuck your six year old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarcastically.

"Fucker." He said, before going away.

Well anyways, I put on some black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, some black lipstick, and white foundation. Then I gasped…Snake and Lupin were in the middle of the empty hall, fucking each other, and Dobby was watching!

(Who the fuck allows two grown adults especially teachers to fuck in the middle of a hallway of a school?)

"Oh my god you ludicrous idiot!" They both shouted angrily when they saw me.

Dobby ran away crying and they got up, normally I would have been turned on (I love seeing guys fucking each other) but both of them were fucking preps. (By the way Snape has been moved to Gryffindor now.)

(So, remember everyone if you ever want to turn Ebony on just have sex with another guy. Unless you're a prep because preps suck and are evil…I guess? She hasn't really explained why she hates preps in this story yet.)

"What the fuck? Is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (See? I spelled that.)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin shouted angrily.

"Well you should have told me." I replied.

"You dimwit!" Snape began to shout angrily.

And then I took out my black camera and took a picture of them you could see that they were naked.

"Well excuse me!" They both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"

"It was to blackmail you." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you can't fucking rat me out or I'll show this to Dumbledore. So, fuck off, you bastards!"

I started to run but they chased me but then I threw my wand at them and they tripped over it.

I then went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

"What the fuck? Where's Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh, he's being a fucking bastard he told me he wouldn't come." Vampire said shaking his head. "You want to come with me to the concert?"

Then he showed me his flying car and I gasped. It was a black car he said his godfather Sirius Black gave to him. The license plate on the front said MCR666 on it and the one on the back said 'EBONY' on it.

I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall and MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began to make out, while moshing to the music and then I gasped, while looking at the band.

I almost had an orgasm Gerard was so fucking hot! He begins to sing 'Helena' and his sexy beautiful voice began to fill the hall. And then, I heard some crying and I turned around and saw Draco, crying in a corner.

AN: Fuck you! Okay? You fucking suck. It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong! Okay? It's that bitch Raven's fault! Fuck you preps! Whoops sorry Raven thanks for the help. By the way Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed at!

(Yes, Tara it is your fault because for whatever reason you refuse to use a spell checker and instead you decide to use your friend as a spell checker. Also, I'm guessing you and Raven aren't exactly on good terms since you called her a bitch.)

Later we all went in the school and saw Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco are you okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"No, I'm not u fucking bitch!" He shouted angrily.

He stated to run out of the place and I started to cry because I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"It's okay Ebony." Said Vampire. "I'll make him feel better."

"You mean you'll go fuck him, won't you?!" I shouted angrily.

I then ran 2 get Draco and Vampire came too.

"Draco please come with us!" He began to cry.

Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was so turned on because I love sensitive bi guys. AN: If you're a homophobe then fuck off!

(Tara you have no right to call anyone a homophobe since you keep calling your critics gay fags. Besides if anyone is a homophobe it's most likely you.)

And then we heard some footsteps and Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak. We then got under it and we saw the caretaker Mr. Argus Filch shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHO'S THERE?!" He shouted angrily.

We saw Mrs. Norris come and she went under the invisibility cloak and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANYONE THERE?!" Yelled Mr. Filch.

"No fuck you preppy little poser son of a fucking bitch!" Vampire said under his breath in a disgusted way.

"EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! WHO SAID THAT!" Yelled Mr. Filch.

Then he heard Mrs. Norris meow.

"Norris is there anyone under the cloak?!" He asked and Norris nodded.

And then Vampire Frenched me just as Mr. Filch was taking off the cloak!

"WHAT THE-" He yelled.

But it was too late because now we were running away from him. Then we saw Draco and slitting his wrists outside of the school.

"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"

"I guess so." Draco wept.

We went back to our coffins Frenching each other. Draco and I then decided to watch Lake Placid (See? Is that depressing?) on the gothic red bed together. As I was about to put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knock on the door and Cornelius Fudge along with the Ministry of Magic walked into the school!

AN: Shut the fuck up! Preps stop flaming! Okay? If you don't like it then fuck off! I know it's Mr. Norris it's Raven's fault! Okay? You suck! No just kidding Raven you fucking rock! Preps suck!

(I don't think telling Raven that she sucks is a good way to get her to continue to help you with the story Tara.)

All day everyone talked about the Ministry of Magic. Anyway, I woke up the next day and I was in my coffin. I was wearing black lacy leather pajamas and then I gasped.

Standing in front of me were B'loody Mary, Vampire, Diablo, Draco, Dracula, and Willow!

I opened my crimson eyes and Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she had a black poofy skirt with lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and black jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just like Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden and B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed off all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bitch' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it. Kind of like the one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear one time. Darkness (who is Ginny) was there too and she was wearing a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top and black pointy boots. So were Fred and George and it turns out that Darkness, Diablo, Fred, and George's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them before too. They all got so depressed that they became gothic and converted to Satanism.

(Once again Tara has decided to be inconsistent with vampires being able to die from slitting their wrists or not.)

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I yelled as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are you all here?"

"Ebony something is really fucked up." Draco said.

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"It's all right we have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. You're so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh, alright." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why you're being all secretive."

"I will." He said.

So, I then put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick, red eyeshadow, and white foundation. We then all went outside to the Great Hall and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Gryffindor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledore. Cornelius Fudge was there shouting at Dumbledore and Dolores Umbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" She shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE DARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" Yelled Cornelius Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE HEADMASTER ANY LONGER!" Yelled Umbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMER'S IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETIRE OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "But we cannot do this! We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

(Oh, look everyone Ebony's name went back to being Raven for no reason once so ever.)

Draco, Fred, George, Darkness, Willow, Vampire, and B'loody Mary looked at each other and then I gasped.

**To Be Continued… **


	2. Chapters 23 - 44

**My Immortal Written in Proper English**

**Volume 2**

**Chapters 23 – 44**

This is my attempt at trying to translate My Immortal into proper English the best way I can. I have no idea if anyone else has done this yet or not but figured I would give it a try. I will also try to translate the author notes as well. I might even insert my own commentary when I feel it's necessary. Since My Immortal was never finished though it will sadly be left without any kind of ending. I know that most people want to believe that this is indeed a trollfic but I personally believe it was written by a teenage girl who couldn't write to save her life. I'll hold on to this belief until it's proven without a doubt that it was indeed written by a troll. Anyways My Immortal was originally written in 2006 on Fanfiction's website by Tara Gilesbie and hasn't been updated since 2007. Some of my commentary is pretty snarky but I feel that it is warranted. I do not apologize for my snarky comments towards Tara and her story at all!

AN: Shut the fuck up bitches! You're just jealous cause I got 10,000 reviews! Thanks to Raven for the help and telling me about the books girl you rock let's go shopping together!

(Tara must have been living under a rock. How the hell do you know about the movies but not the books? The books were extremely popular and still are! I think you're lying.)

The door opened and Professor Dolores Umbridge and Cornelius Oswald Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledore and Umbridge saw us.

"MR. DUMBLEDORE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Umbridge shouted angrily and Dumbledore just glared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" He corrected her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"

(I'm pretty sure its not appropriate to cum anywhere near children.)

Well we all came in angrily and so did all the other students. I sat by Darkness and opposite of B'loody Mary. Fred and George started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Hermanni Valo. I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup. Then I heard someone shouting angrily and then I looked behind me and it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shouting at each other.

(I'm still pretty salty about Count Chocula not being a character in the story. He really should have been a main character.)

"Vampire, Draco WHAT THE FUCK?" I asked.

"You fucking bastard!" Yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to sit next to her!"

(Originally this said shit and not sit. Tara nobody wants to know about your weird fetishes.)

"No I do!" Shouted Vampire.

"No she doesn't fucking like you, you son of a bitch!" Yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she loves me not you!" Shouted Vampire.

And then…he jumped on Draco! (No not in that way you pervert!) and then they started to fight and beat each other up.

Dumbledore then yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden…a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the windows then shattered. Britney that fucking prep then started to cry. Vampire and Draco then stopped fighting….I then stopped eating….Everyone gasped. The room fell silent….it was Voldemort!

"Ebony…. Ebony…." Voldem'rt hath said evilly in a raspy voice. "Thou has't did fail thy mission. Anon I shalt killeth thou and I shalt killeth Vampire as well. If 't be true thou doest not killeth that gent then I shalt killeth Draco too!"

"Please don't make me kill him please!" I begged.

"No!" That gent did laugh crudely. "Kill that gent, 'r I shalt killeth that gent concluded, be it!" Then that gent did fly hence cackling.

I burst into tears then Draco and Vampire came to comfort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressing way.

"No!" I screamed sexily and then suddenly I stopped having the vision.

"Ebony are you alright?" Asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everything's alright Ebony." Vampire said in a sensitive tone of voice.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily and then tears of blood poured down my face. "Oh my god what if I'm getting possessed like in The Ring 2?!"

"Its okay girl." Said B'loody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sybill Patricia Trelawney about what the visions mean though."

"Okay bitch." I said sadly and then we left.

AN: Preps stop flaming the story you're just jealous so fuck you okay? GO TO HELL! Raven thanks for the help!

Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Professor Trelawney about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." Said Professor Trelawney in Japanese. She smiled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's the coolest fucking teacher ever! She had long black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (Her mom was a vampire and she's also half Japanese so she speaks it and everything. She and B'loody Mary get along great.) She's really young for a teacher. Today she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long gothic black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with posters of Emily the Strange. I raised my hand I was wearing some black nail Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Ebony?" She asked. "Hey I love your nail polish where'd you get it, Hot Topic?"

(It should be noted that Hot Topic still doesn't exist in the UK at the time of this writing anyways.)

"Yeah." I answered and all the preps who didn't know what Hot Topic was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some things. When do you want to do it?"

(Even preps should know what Hot Topic is. It's pretty popular and mainstream even by 2006. Also who allows students to give people the middle finger?)

"How about now?" She asked.

"OKay." I said.

"OKay class fucking dismissed everyone." Professor Trelawney said and she let everyone go. "Except for you Britney." She pointed at Britney and some other preps. "Please do exorcise (Get it?) 1 on page 3."

(Who allows a teacher/professor to end class early? I'm pretty sure you can't choose who gets homework and who doesn't. I definitely don't see Trelawney getting a teacher of the year award.)

"Okay I'm having lots of visions." I said in a worried voice. "I'm so worried that Draco is going to die."

She then gave me a black crystal ball to look in and I looked at it.

"What do you see?" She asked.

"I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I looked at it and It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt, and black converse shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." Said Professor Trelawney.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

(Could you imagine the outrage if they were called a cunt or bitch by a guy? I sure can.)

I went to Draco and Vampire who was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so excited.

AN: Stop flaming! Okay? If you don't then I'll tell Justin to beat you up! I'll tell all the nerds to put viruses in your computer! FUCK YOU! Raven thanks for the help!

I was so excited I followed Draco wondering if we were going to do it again. We then went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.

"Ebony what the fuck did Professor Trelawney say?" Whispered Draco putting his gothic white hand with black nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant tomorrow." I grumbled in a sexy voice and he took out some heroin in a pipe, and gave it to me to smoke. He then started to fly the car into a tree and we went to the top of it then Draco put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." Sang Gerard's sexy voice and then we started tearing off each other's clothes fervently. He took off my black g-string and my black leather bra. I then took off his black boxers and...then put his throbbing cock in my pussy sexily.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD DRACO!" I screamed while having an orgasm and then we started Frenching passionately. Suddenly...I fell asleep and I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two gothic men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!" They pleaded but he just kept shooting them and then he ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?!" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and then tears of blood poured down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire and he did it with his black Linkin Park mobile. But the worst thing was who the people who were shot in the dream were...Lucius Malfoy and Sirius Black!

AN: PREPS STOP FLAMING THE STORY OKAY?! If you don't like the story then go fuck yourself you fucking prep! YOU SUCK! Oh and I wasn't being racist okay?!

A few minutes later Vampire came to the tree. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black leather pants, and a Good Charlotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob and Draco hugged me sexily trying to comfort me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that?!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have to tell Dumbledore."

We then ran out of the tree and in to the castle. Dumbledore could be seen sitting in his office.

(Wait what? How did you run out of the tree? How does that work? Why didn't you just take Draco's car instead?)

"Dumbledore our dads have been shot!" Draco said while he wiped some tears from his white face. "Ebony had a vision in a dream."

Dumbledore started to cackle. "Hahahaha and How do you know that Ebony isn't delusional?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker!" He said angrily as Dumbledore gasped. (See? Is that out of character?) "You know very well that I'm not delusional. Now get some fucking people out there to look for Sirius and Lucius pronto!"

(Took me awhile but I finally figured out what the phrase "c is da toot of crakter" is supposed to say.)

"Okay." He said in a intimated voice. "Where are they?"

I thought about it and then all of a sudden…"London." I said and I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few minutes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire, and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurse's office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other's gothic, depressed eyes. Then, we kissed and suddenly Sirius and Lucius came in on stretchers…and Professor Trelawney was behind them!

(Tara originally wrote Longdon but I wish she wrote Longdong instead. Just because I think it would have been funnier.)

AN: You know what?! I don't give a fuck what you preps think about me! So stop flaming the fucking story bitches! Thanks to Raven for your love and support and help I love you girl! Sorry I couldn't update I was really depressed and I slit my wrists and I had to go to the hospital Raven you rock girl!

Everyone in the room started to cry happily because I had saved them. Draco, Lucius, Sirius, and Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Come on Ebony." Said Professor Trelawney. She was wearing a gothic black leather dress with a corset top and real vampire blood on it and fucking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking premonition."

I looked at Lucius, Sirius, Draco, and Vampire and they just nodded.

I smiled happily and went into a dark room. I had noticed Professor Trelawney took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crystal ball. She said… "Tara, I see dark times are ahead of us." She said and then peered into the ball. "You see, you must go back in time." She said after taking out a time-turner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemort was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he got his heartbroken. Now do you think he would still become Voldemort if he was in love?"

(Yes he could still be Voldemort even if he was in love.)

I shook my head.

"You must go back in time and seduce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and do it."

"Okay." I said sadly and we did Death's Touch Sign. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" Asked Draco and Vampire.

"Yeah what happened?" Asked Darkness, Willow, and Bloody Mary.

I was about to tell them but everyone was there. They were celebrating Lucius and Sirius being found. Everyone was proud of me but I just wanted to talk to Draco. They were cheering my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumbledore. A banner was put up and lots of fucking preps were there obviously trying to be gothic wearing the HIM sign on their hands despite them not having actually heard of HIM. Even Mr. Filch looked happy. A black and red cake had been brought out. Fred and George set up some fireworks in the shape of skulls from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

I put on my Invisibility cloak with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside together.

AN: I said stop flaming the story it was a mistake when Professor Trelawney said that okay! GO to FUCKING HELL! YOU SUCK! Thanks to Filly for the help! Raven have fun in Key West!

We went into a black room where the walls were black with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC, and Marilyn Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red velvet lined the black box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skulls in them. I was wearing a black corset bra with purple stuff on it, fishnet stockings and a black leather g-string underneath.

I sat down on one of the chairs in a very depressed manner. Draco and Vampire did the same.

"Are you okay?" Vampire asked while putting his albastar hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing black nail polish with red crosses on it.

(I see Tara has decided to write the word cross again. I thought you couldn't do that Tara?)

"Yeah I guess." I said sadly and then Draco also put his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my black lipstick. "The problem is…I have to seduce Voldemort. I'll have to go back in time."

Draco started to cry sadly and then Vampire hugged him.

"Its okay Ebony." He said finally. "But what about me? You're not gonna break up with me or anything, are you?"

"Of course not!" I gasped.

"Really?" He asked.

"Sure." I said.

(Nothing more reassuring than telling someone sure after being asked if you'll break up with them.)

We then frenched sexily and then Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then…I took off Draco's MCR shirt and seductively took off his pants. He was hung like Sylvester Stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo with the name Ebony instead. Black roses were around it and I gasped. He looked exactly like Gerard Way. Vampire then took out a video camera. (I had said it was okay earlier).

(I guess Tara has seen the Sylvester Stallone porno Italian Stallion.)

I took off my clothes and then we were in for the ride of our lives.

We started freching as we climbed into the coffin. He put his cock in my pussy and then we passionately did it.

"I love you Ebony oh let me feel you I need to feel you." He screamed as we had an orgasm. We watched Vampire film everything perfectly and then suddenly…

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

It was…Snape and Professor McGonagall!

AN: Shut the fuck up! You're just jealous cause you're preps so fuck you! Raven you rock girl thanks for the help MCR rocks 666!

"Oh my Satan!" We screamed as we jumped out of the coffin. Snape and Professor McGonagall started to shout at us angrily.

"COME NOW!" Professor McGonagall yelled. We then did so with guilt. We left the room after putting on our clothes. Snape then grabbed the camera and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!" Vampire shouted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the fuck are you going to do with that fucking camera?" Draco demanded to know in a protective voice, while looking at me lovingly with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumbledore knows your little secret and if you do this again, then you will go to St. Mungo's. So give back the camera!"

(Looks like someone is being a buster.)

"Hahahaha the Ministry of Magic thinks he is crazy there is no way they will believe him." Snape laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mouth you insolent fools!" Yelled Professor McGonagall. She made us walk into a room with white stones all around it. There were all these weird tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexily and sexitive (Get it? Cause he's a sex bomb! Tom Felton rules for life but not as much as Gerrard. You're sex on legs I love you and you fucking rock marry me!).

(Yes Tara I'm sure Gerard will read this and get to work on marrying an underage teen girl that he doesn't know.)

I started to cry tears of blood (It happens in Vampire Chronicles Raven said so! Okay? So fuck you!). Vampire took out a black handkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then…he and Snape both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. None of the bullets hit their targets yet. I then took out my wand.

(Why would you use a gun if you can use magic instead?)

"Crutacio!" I shouted and then Snape started to scream and he dropped the gun. But it was too late because both of them had run out of bullets. I STOPPED THE CURSE. Professor McGonagall then did a spell so that we were all chained up. She then took out a box of tools and then she said "OKay Snape I'm going to go now." She left and Snape started to laugh evilly and then Vampire started to cry.

"It's okay Ebony." Said Draco. "Everything will be alright. Remember the video you took of Snape?"

Snape laughed again and then...he took out some whips!

AN: Stop flaming the story! Okay? You don't know what's even gonna happen! Okay? So FUCK YOU! If you flame you will be a prep so all flamers can kiss my ass! Sorry for saying alzheimer's is dangerous but that's the Ministry's opinion because society basically sucks. Thanks to Raven you rock bitch!

"No!" We screamed sadly together. Snape started to laugh meanly. He took out a camera angrily. Then…he came towards Draco! He then took some stones out of his pocket. He then put the stones around Draco and not a candle.

(I don't know why Tara randomly wrote about a candle or really anything in this story to be honest.)

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I shouted angrily. Snape laughed meanly. He then pulled down his pants. I gasped there was a dark mark on his cock!

He waved his wand and a knife appeared and then he gave the knife to me.

"You must stab Vampire." He said to me. "If you don't then I'll rape Draco!"

(Voldemort should focus on having Ebony killed instead of Harry. Since Ebony has taken his place as the main character. Not to mention Ebony is the only one who can kill Voldemort in this story. So why even bother with Harry?)

"No you fucking bastard!" I yelled.

But then Draco looked at me sadly with his evil gothic red eyes that looked so depressing and sexy. He looked exactly like a pentagram (Get it? Cause I'm a satanist.) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too with his gothic black hair. I thought of the time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and then Dumbledore came. And the time where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire was so supportive.

Snape then laughed angrily and then started to pray to Voldemort. He then started to do an incantation dancing around the stones while whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly I had an idea. I closed my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathic message to Draco and Vampire so they would distract Snape.

(Apparently Ebony now has vampire powers including telepathy. A competent writer would have mentioned this at the beginning of the story.)

"Dumbledore will get you!" Draco shouted.

"Yeah just wait until the Ministry finds out!" Vampire yelled and then I took out my wand.

"You ridiculous dunderhead!" Snape yelled and then he took off all of Draco's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him.

"Crosio!" I shouted while pointing my wand. Snape screamed and started running around the room. Meanwhile I grabbed my black mobile and sent a text to Sirius. I then stopped doing crosio.

"You dunderhead! I'm going to kill-" Shouted Snape but then suddenly Sirius appeared.

Snake put the whip behind his back. "Oh hello Sirius I was just teaching these children something." He lied but then suddenly Lucius and Professor Trelawney came into the room and they and Sirius unlocked the chains and put them around Snape. Then Professor Trelawney said

(I wonder what spell makes chains appear out of nowhere?)

"Come on Ebony let's go."

AN: I said shut the fuck up you queers! Stop calling Ebony a Mary Sue! Okay? You don't even know what's going to happen! Okay? So fuck you! Thanks to my best friend forever Raven for the help!

"I always knew you were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (Buffy rocks!)." Sirius said to Snape.

(Here we have Tara ruining what could have been a pretty clever reference.)

"No I'm not I was teaching them something!" Snape claimed.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some black Veritaserum out of my pocket and then gave it to Sirius. He made Snape drink it and then screamed angrily and then Lucius took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snape. Then Professor Trelawney and Lucius made us get out with them while Snape told his secrets. Lucius took Vampire and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a million times. Professor Trelawney then took me to a dark room. Now I was going to go back in time to seduce Voldemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nirvana were all over. Bloody Mary, Darkness, and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a black bag from Not Tom Riddle's store.

"What's in the bag?" I asked Professor Trelawney.

"You will see." She said. I opened the bag. In it was a sexy tight low-cut black leather gothic dress. It had red corset stuff and there was a slit up the leg. I put it on and my friends helped me put on the black fishnets and black pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blood red lipstick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said.

"Thanks." I said.

"Okay now you're going to go back in time." Said Professor Trelawney. "You will have to do it in a few sessions." She gave me a black gun and I put it in a strap on my fishnets like in Resident Evil. Then she gave me a black time-turner. "After an hour use the time-turner to come back here." Professor Trelawney said and then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensieve in front of me and then everyone went in front of it.

"Good luck!" Everyone shouted. Darkness and Willow gave me Death's Touch Sin. Then...I jumped sexily into the Pensieve .

Suddenly I was in front of the School. In front of me was one of the sexiest goth guys I had ever seen. He had long black hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had green eyes like Billie Joe Armstrong and pale white skin. He was wearing a black ripped up suit with Vans. It was…Tom Riddle!

(Here we originally had a cameo of a LoTR book character in the form of Tom Bombadil)

AN: I said stop flaming I know his name isn't Tom Bombadil that was a mistake! If you don't like the story then you can go screw yourself! YOU SUCK!

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Ebony by the way I'm the new student." I shook hands with him.

"The nameth's Tom Riddle. " That gent hath said.

(No Tara, Voldemort's real name is Tom Riddle, not Satan you retard!)

We shook hands.

"Well cometh on we has't to wend upstairs. "

Tom said and I followed him. "Hey Tom…do you happen to be a fan of Green Day?" (Since MCR and Evanescence don't exist yet.) I asked.

"Oh mine own fucking god, how didst thee knoweth?" Tom gasp'd. "Actually I liketh Valorous Charlotte a lot too. " (Get it? Cause GC did that song I just wanna live that sounded really 80s.)

(And here we have Tara thinking that Tom Riddle went to Hogwarts in the 80s when in reality it was the 40s. But knowing Tara she would have butchered the 40s up anyways. Also it doesn't matter if GC made a song that sounded like it came from the 80s. They weren't formed until 1996 not the fucking 80s. On top of that most characters including Tom Riddle/Voldemort wouldn't care about muggle bands!)

"Oh my god me too!" I replied happily.

"Guess what? Those gents has't a conc'rt in Hogsment. " Tom whisp'r'd

"Hogsment?" I asked.

"Yeah yond's what those gents hath used to calleth t in these timeth bef're t becameth Hogsmeade in 2000. " That gent toldeth me all secretively. "And th're's a very much merit shopeth hath called Hot-"

(Tara did you forget that your characters aren't supposed to have the same knowledge as you? Tom shouldn't have this kind of knowledge of Hogsmeade. How would he know that its name changed in 2000 when he's in the 80s? Not to mention that it was always called Hogsmeade. Here is what the Harry Potter Wiki has to say about Hogsmeade…

According to tradition, Hogsmeade was founded over a thousand years ago, around the same time as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, by medieval wizard Hengist of Woodcroft as he was fleeing persecution by Muggles.

In 1612 a goblin rebellion took place in the vicinity of the village. Hogsmeade served as the wizards' headquarters during the rebellion.

In November 1926, The Daily Prophet reported that Hogsmeade would play host to the first ever Magical Waterplants Festival.)

"Topic!" I finished, happily again.

That gent frown'd and did look did confuse by mine own outburst. "No its hath called Hot Issue." That gent did smile secretly again. "Then in 1998 those gents hath changed t to Hot Topic. " That gent did moan.

(No Tara once again you have fucked up the history of things you supposedly know about or like. Hot Topic was established in 1989 and was always named Hot Topic. How do you fail this hard? Also once again Hot Topic does not exist in the UK! And depending what year in the 80s it is Hot Topic shouldn't exist yet. Why is Tom moaning while talking about Hot Topic?)

"Oh." Now everything was making sense for me. "So is Dumbledore your headmaster?" I shouted.

(Yes Tara, Dumbledore was the headmaster since pre 1971 up until 1997.)

"Uh-huh. " That gent did look at his black nails. "I'm in Slyth'rin. "

(Well at least you got Draco and Voldemort's houses correct. Can't say the same for the other characters though.)

"OH MY FUCKING GOD ME TOO!" I SHRIEKED.

"You wend to this death's-head?" (Get it? Cause I'm gothic.) That gent hath asked.

"Yeah that's why im here im NEW." I smiled happily.

Suddenly Dumbledore flew in on his broomstick and started yelling at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" He had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from American Eagle Outfitters. "STUPID GOTHS!"

(I like how Tara wants us to think that goths are some kind of oppressed group. Reminds me of religious groups like Christians along with social justice feminists. No Tara, goths are not some kind of oppressed minority group. Also how dare people wear clothes from places you don't like! Oh the horror and oppression! When will this injustice end?!/_**S**_)

Tom did roll his eyes. "He's so cullionly to us goths and punks just because we're in Slyth'rin and we're not preps. "

(You know the more I think about it the more Ebony and the goths in My Immortal remind me of social justice fanatics.)

I then turned around angrily. "Actually I think maybe it's because you're the dark lord."

"What the alas?" That gent hath asked angrily.

"Oh nothing." I said sweetly.

Then suddenly…the floor opened. "OH MY FUCKING GOD NO!" I screamed as I fell down and everyone just looked at me weirdly."

"Hey! Wh're art thee going?" Tom hath asked as I hath fallen.

(Really that's your question? Not how the hell are you falling through the floor?)

I got out of the hole and then I was back in the Pensieve in professor Trelawney's classroom. Dumbledore was there. "Dumbledore I think I just met you." I said.

"Oh yeah I remember that." Dumbledore said, trying to be all gothic.

Trelawney then came in. "Hey this is my classroom! Wait what the fuck? Ebony what the hell are you doing?"

"Um." I looked at her.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that."

"What the hell how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second but shes a goth so it's okay.

(Even if she is a goth I doubt it's okay to still yell at her since she is a teacher/professor.)

Professor Trelawney then looked sad. "Um I was drinking Veritaserum." She then started to cry black tears of depression and Dumbledore didn't know about them.

"Hey are you crying tears of blood?" He asked curiously, touching a tear.

"Fuck off!" We both said and Dumbledore then took his hand away.

Professor Trelawney then started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "Oh my fucking god Ebony…I think i'm addicted to Veritaserum."

AN: SEE YOU FUCKING PREPS?! GO FUCK YOURSELVES THAT'S SERIOUS ISSUES SO GO TO HELL!

AN: I said shut up it's not my fault! Okay? If you don't like the story then you're a prep so fuck you flamers! PS: I'm not updating until you give me five good reviews and this time I mean it! YOU SUCK! Thanks Raven for the help I promise to help you with your story!

"Oh my fucking god!" I shouted sadly. "Should we get you to St. Mungo's, bitch?"

(Tara what is your obsession with calling Professor Trelawney a bitch?)

"Hell no!" She said. "Listen Ebony, I need your help. Next time you go back in time, do you think you could ask Tom Riddle for some help?"

"Sure." I said sadly before I went outside the door. Draco was there! He was wearing a big black GC t shirt which was his pajamas.

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Ebony?" He asked his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when he's talking.

"Fine." I responded before we went back in the dorm.

"How far did you go with Tom?" Draco asked in a jealous tone of voice.

"Not far."

"Will you have to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hope not!" I shouted angrily and then I felt bad for shouting at him. I then said sorry and we frenched.

"What happened to Snape?" I growled.

"You will see." Draco giggled mysteriously and then he opened a door…Snape and Lupin were there! Sirius was poking them by stabbing them with a black knife.

"NOOOO PLEASE!" Lupin begged as Sirius started to suck his blood. I laughed sadistically and then took some photos of him and Snape being tortured. (Okay I know this is mean but think about it people they are pedos and Snape tried to rape them and anyway satanists rock! Has anyone seen Shark attack 3?). We took some of Snape's blood then Draco and I went back to our rooms. We sat on my gothic black coffin and my clothes were kinda dirty so I put on a black leather outfit kinda like the one Selene has in Underworld. (If you haven't heard of it then FUCK YOU!). I put on some black platform high heels and Draco put on 'Demolition Lovers' by MCR. Then…we started to take off each others clothes. I took off his shirt and he had a six-pack. We started to make out like in The Grudge. He put his cock in my pussy sexily and then I got an orgasm.

(Tara sure does love to tell people to go fuck themselves if they aren't familiar with certain things. I'm pretty sure Shark Attack 3 isn't a very gothic movie. I thought you only associated with gothic things Tara?)

"Oh Draco! Oh my fucking god Draco!" I screamed passionately as he got an erection.

"I love you Ebony." He whispered sexily and then we fell asleep.

(Originally Tara wrote TaEbory instead of Ebony. So if you ever had doubts that Ebony was a self insert of Tara well this should put those doubts to rest now.)

AN: SHUT The FUCK UP PREPS! Have you even read the story?! You are probably all just preps and posers so FUCK YOU! Thanks to Raven for the help!

I woke up in my coffin the next day and Draco was gone. I got up and put on a black tight sexy dress that was all ripped at the end. There was a red corset going up the front and the back and it came up to my knees. There was a slit in the dress like in Mr & Mrs Smith. I put on the ripped black fishnets and black steel toe boots. Suddenly…Sirius knocked on the door and I opened it.

"Hi Ebony." He said. "Guess what? You have to come to Professor Trelawney's office."

"Okay." I said in a depressed voice I had wanted to fuck Draco or maybe listen to MCR or Evanescence but I left anyways.

"So what the fuck happened to Snape and Lupin?" I asked Sirius flirtatiously.

(As been stated before Ebony isn't exactly the most loyal girlfriend. She's already cheated with Vampire and Tom Riddle/Voldemort. Now she's flirting with Sirius for no reason. Though to be fair at least she has a reason to cheat with Tom...even if it is a retarded reason. She definitely deserves the worst girlfriend ever award.)

"I fucking tortured them." He answered in a sadistic way. "They are in Azkaban."

I laughed evilly.

(Ah yes truly the best line in the story./**S**)

"Where are Draco and Vampire at?" I asked.

"They are excused from school today." Sirius moaned sexily. "Right now they are watching The Nightmare before Christmas."

(What the hell is with people moaning for no reason?)

We went into the office and Professor Trelawney was there. She was wearing a gothic black dress that was ripped all over kinda like the one Amy Lee wears.

She was drinking some Veritaserum and then took out the Pensieve and the time-turner.

"Ebony, you will have to do another session now. Also I need you to get me the cure for Veritaserum addiction." She said sadly. "Good luck and thanks!"

And then...I jumped into the Pensieve again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in the Great Hall eating Count Chocula. It was morning and I was sitting next to Tom. On a table was a tall gothic man with long black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes wearing a suit and black Converse shoes. He looked just like Charles Manson and I noticed…he was drinking a potion.

(No idea if Tara was trying to write Charles Manson or Marilyn Manson. So I decided to go with Charles.)

"Who is he?" I asked.

"Oh, that's Professeth'r Slugh'rn. " Tom hath said. "He's the Potions teachest'r…Ebony?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Did thee knoweth yond Marilyn Manson is playing in Hogsmeade tonight? And those gents art showing the Ex'rcist at the movies bef're yond."

"Yeah?"

(Bitch don't lie to us like that! You did not know this because you literally just traveled back to the 80s. There's no fucking way you knew that!)

"Well...wanteth to wend to the conc'rt and the movie with me?"

AN: Thanks to Susie for the idea! You rock! Fuck off preps! Thanks to Raven for the help you rock girl! Ps. I'm going to end the story really soon so FUCK YOU! Oh yeah and if you know any gothic names please tell me cause I need one for Sirius. Thanks!

(What's wrong with Sirius? It's a perfectly fine name if you ask me.)

I went into the common room thinking of Tom then suddenly I gasped...Draco was there! He looked as hot as ever wearing black leather pants, a black Linkin Park t-shirt and black eyeliner.

(And here we have the Draco in leather pants trope literally in action. Well minus the fact that it isn't actually Draco.)

"Draco what the fuck are you doing!" I gasped.

"Huh?" He asked and then I remembered it wasn't Draco It was Lucius! He still had two arms.

(I'm pretty sure he always had two arms. I'm beginning to think you don't know much about Harry Potter, Tara.)

"Oh hi Lucius!" I said. "I'm Ebony the new student."

"Yeah Tom told me about you." Lucius said and he pointed to a group of sexy gothic guys. They were sitting in a corner cutting themselves. It was Sirius, Vampire's godfather and…Snape! All of them were wearing black eyeliner and black Good Charlotte band shirts.

(For the last time Tara, GC did not exist in the 80s!)

"Listen I'm in a goth band with those guys." hH said. "Were playing tonight at the Marilyn Mason show as back-up.

"O'RLY?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said. "Were called XBlackXTearsX. I play the guitar and Sirius plays the drums" He said pointing to him. "Snape plays the bass and James plays the keyboard."

"Hey bastards." I told them and they gave me the Death's Touch Sin and then suddenly I gasped again. "But don't you have a lead singer?!" I asked and Lucius looked down sadly.

(Yep no better way to introduce yourselves to people than to call them a bastard. Nice work Tara!)

"We used to but she died. She committed suicide by slitting her wrists."

"Oh my fucking god! That's so fucking sad!" I gasped.

(Says the person who slits their wrists in the story and in real life.)

"Its okay but we need a new lead singer." James said.

(Really? Its okay that your nameless singer killed herself? Some friends you guys are.)

"Well…I'm in a band myself."

(Wow Tara how convenient!)

"Really?" Asked Snape.

I can't believe he used to be gothic!

"Yeah were called Bloody Gothic Rose 666. Do u wanna hear me sing?"

"Yeah!" Said everyone.

So the guys took out their guitars and they began to pay a song bi (Get it? Cause bi guys are so sexy!) Green Day.

(That doesn't change the fact that you call your critics gay fags.)

"I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams." I sang sexily (I don't own the lyrics to that song). Everyone gasped.

(Wow you don't say! I would have never guessed that you didn't own the rights to those lyrics if you hadn't said so./**S**)

"Ebony? Will you join the band? Please!" Begged Lucius, James, Sirius, and Snape.

(Yeah right Tara don't flatter yourself nobody in their right mind would ask you to join their band.)

"Um….okay." I shrugged. "Are we going to play tonight?"

"Yeah." they said.

"Okay." I said but I knew that I had to get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I could go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in front of me It was…Marty Mcfly! He was wearing a black band t shirt and black baggy jeans.

(How would you even know who it was? Tara why is Marty even here? Is it because you have time travel? That's not a good enough excuse to just throw in some random character in your story.)

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I asked.

"I will help you go forward in time Ebony." He said seriously and then...he took out a black time machine. I then went into it and...suddenly I was forward in time!

(There is so much wrong with this that I wouldn't even know where to start. But basically Tara got lazy and decided to have Ebony go back to the future via a lazy ass cameo.)

AN: I said stop flaming! Okay? I bet you are all probably old seventy year olds! Ps. PORTERSUZ YOU'RE A PREP! Oh yeah and thanks to Raven for the help! Have fun in England girl!

(That is the weirdest insult I have ever seen before. You went from gay fags to calling your critics seventy year olds. What the fuck are you even smoking? Also I don't know what PORTERSUZ is supposed to be.)

I looked around in a depressed way. Suddenly I saw Professor Trelawney, B'loody Mary, Sirius, Draco, Vampire, and Willow were there as well.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD Sirius I saw you, James, and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be gothic!"

"Yah I know." Sirius said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Professor Trelawney said in an emo voice while drinking some Veritaserum.

"Hi fucker." I said. "Listen, Tom asked me out to a gothic concert and a movie so I need a sexy new outfit for the date. Also I'm playing in a gothic band so I need an outfit for that too."

(Only in Tara-Topia can you get away with calling your professor fucker.)

"Oh my Satan!" (Get it? Cause she's gothic.) gasped B'loody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?"

(There is no Hot Topic in the UK! How many times do I have to tell you this?)

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, let's have a group kutting session!" Said Professor Trelawney.

"I can't fucking wait for that but we need to get some stuff first." Said Willow.

"Yeah we need some potions for Professor Trelawney so she won't be addicted to Veritaserum anymore and also...some love potion for Ebony." Draco said reassuringly.

"Well we have potions class now." Willow said "So let's go."

We went sexily to potions class. But Snape wasn't there and Instead there was…Cornelius Fudge!

"Hey! Where the fuck is Dumbledore?!" Draco shouted angrily.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Shouted Cornelius Fudge. "He is in Azkaban now with Snape and Lupin! He is old and weak he has cancer. Now do your work!"

My friends and I talked to each other angrily.

"Can you BELIEVE Snape used to be gothic!" Vampire said surprisingly.

"THAT'S IT!" Cornelius Fudge shouted angrily. "I'M GETTING PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE!"

He then stomped out angrily.

My friends and I began talking again and I began to drink some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly I saw Hagrid in the cupboard.

(Who the fuck allows a student to drink beer at school? How the hell would Hagrid fit in a cupboard?)

"What the fuck is he doing?" I asked and then I looked at Draco. He was wearing tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier than ever. Suddenly…

"HAGRID WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" He shouted.

I looked around...Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood! Draco and Vampire started to beat him up sexily.

(How do you beat someone up sexily?)

"God you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid and then suddenly I looked at what he was putting in the blood it was…Amorentia Potion!

AN: Okay EVERYBODY I'M GOING ON VACATION ON THE FIRST OF JULY SO I'M EITHER GONNA END THE FIC OR UPDATE IT IN A WEEK. THANKS! Oh yeah and preps stop flaming my story! Raven thanks for the help see ya girl after the vacation!

Draco's point of view.

Vampire and I chained Hagrid to the floor.

"Oh my fucking Satan!" Ebony said while being so hot. "Maybe I could use Amorentia potion to make Tom fall in love with me faster!"

(It's nice to get a different character's point of view even if it is extremely rare.)

"But you are so sexy and wonderful already Ebony." Said Vampire. "Why would you need it?"

"To make everything go faster." Said Ebony.

"But you won't have to do it with him or anything, will you?" I asked jealousy.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD you guys are so scary!" Said Britney, a fucking prep.

"Shut the fuck up!" Said Willow.

"Okay well anyway let's go to Professor Trelawney's room."

Draco, Ebony, and I went to Professor Trelawney's room. But Professor Trelawney wasn't there and Instead Not Tom Riddle was.

"Oh hi fuckers listen, I got you some cool new clothes."

I took out the clothes from the bag. It was a gothic black leather miniskirt that said '666' on the back, black steel toe boots, blood red fishnets, and a black corset.

"OH MY GOD thanks!" I said hugging him in a gothic way and then I took the clothes in the bag.

"Okay Professor Trelawney isnt here. What the fuck should we do?" Asked Draco and then suddenly he looked at a sign on the black wall.

"Oh my fucking Satan!" I screamed as I read it and it said everyone Professor Trelawney is away. She is too gothic and she is in Azkaban now. Classes shall be taught by Dumbledore who is back but he shall not be headmaster for now. Sincerely Professor Umbridge.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I shouted angrily. "How could they do that?!"

Suddenly Dumbledore appeared.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE?!" He began to shout angrily.

Suddenly I saw Marty Mcfly's black time machine! I jumped seductively into it leaving Draco and Vampire. Suddenly I was back in time! I looked around and realized I was in...Professor Slughorn's office! I sneaked around and suddenly I saw the Amorentia potion on his desk. It was black with blood red pentagrams on it. It was in the shape of a cross and then I put it in my pocket. Suddenly the door opened and it was...Professor Slughorn!

"OH MY GOD what are you doing you fucker?!" He shouted angrily.

"I don't know! What the fuck are you doing?!" I shouted angrily.

"Oh sorry I was just looking around cause I thought it was class time." I said hoping he couldn't see the potion in my pocket.

"Oh okay well you can go now." Said Professor Slughorn.

I went to the common room after putting on my clothes. Sirius, James, and Snape were there practicing Vampires will Never Hurt You by MCR.

(Tara that isn't possible since MCR didn't exist in the 80s!)

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Where's Tom?"

"Oh he's coming." Said Sirius. "By the way you can call me Hades now."

Suddenly Tom appeared and he was wearing a smexy black leather jacket, black converse shoes, a Slipknot t-shirt, and a black tie.

"Okay I will see you guys at the concert." I said and then I went with Tom.

AN: What does everyone think if I end the story and then I add some more to it after vacation? Oh yeah and preps stop flaming! If you don't like the story then take my quiz. Okay? Then you will see if you're gothic or not!

Tom and I walked to his car it was a black car with pentagrams all over it. On the license plate it said 666 just like Draco's car. I went in it seductively and Tom started 2 drive it and we talked about Satanism (He was named after Satan), cutting, music, and being gothic.

"Oh mine own Flibbertigibbet, G'rard is so fucking hot!" Tom did agree as we smok'd some we'd. (Cause bi guys are hot they are so sensitive I love them! Go fuck a bi guy.)

(Not to sound like a broken record here but this doesn't change the fact that you call your critics gay fags.)

"I totally decided not 2 commit suicide when I herd Helena." I said in a flirty voice. "Hey Tom do you know the cure for when people are addicted to Veritaserum?"

"Well…I bethink thee has't to drinketh vampire blood. "

Suddenly Tom parked the car behind a black movie theater. Tom and I then walked outside. We went into the movie together where they were showing the Exorcist. In it a boy and a girl were doing it and then suddenly a serial killer appeared. Tom and I laughed at the blood cause we're sadists.

While Tom was watching the movie, I had an idea. I took Tom's gothic black Nightmare before Christmas cigar sexily from his pocket and put some Amorentia potion in it. I put it back in his black Emily the Strange bag. Tom turned around and started to smoke it. Black clouds with red pentagrams in them started to fly around everywhere.

(Tara you do realize that Nightmare Before Christmas didn't exist in the 80s...right?)

"Oh mine own god!" Tom hath said while jumping up. I then gasp'd causeth I wast afraid that gent'd did notice what I didst. "Ebony guesseth what?"

I knew that the Amorentia had worked.

"Am'rentia potion hast not been did invent yet so 'twill not w'rk. " That gent hath said. "Too lacking valor causeth I did want to useth some on thee."

(If it hasn't been invented yet then how does Tom know it won't work?)

"Cool." I said while raising my eye suggestively. And then…he took off my clothes sexily and we started to makeout. I then took off his shirt and he had a six-pack just like Gerard Way and then we frenched passionately.

"Excuse me but you are going to have to leave!" Shouted the lady behind us she was a prep.

"Fuck you!" I said and then suddenly…I attacked her and then started sucking all of her blood.

(This might be the first time Ebony has attacked and killed someone in the story.)

"Noooooo!" She screamed and all the preps in the theater screamed but everyone else clapped cause Tom and I looked so cute together. Tom and I then started to walk outside.

(Everyone clapped? Where is Obama? He should be giving out crisp 100 dollar bills. Also where is Albert Einstein? This is definitely an r/Thathappened story.)

"Oh mine own god how didst thee doth yond?" Tom hath asked in an arous'd voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.

"S'riously?" That gent gasp'd.

(I like how serious is spelled sirius but when it comes to Sirius Black it's spelled as Serious instead.)

"Yeah seriously." I said drinking some beer and Tom then started to drive the car I then smiled happily.

"It's too lacking valor we didn't receiveth to seeth the rest of the movie, thee not bethink?"

"Yeah." I said as we kissed passionately and then Tom parked in a black driveway next to the place where Draco and I had watched GC for the first time. We then went inside where Marilyn Manson was playing and started to mosh.

"Anti-people now you've gone too far Jesus Christ Superstar!" Screamed Marilyn on the stage. We then did the devil fingers and I started to dance really close to Tom. He was so smexy! He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgasm and then suddenly Marilyn Mason stopped singing.

"I would like to present...XBlakXTearsX!" He said and then I ran onstage and Lucius, James, Snape, and Sirius were there. They started to play their instruments and then I got onstage.

"Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!" I sang. (I don't own the lyrics to that song.) My voice sounded like a cross between Amy Lee and a girl version of Gerard Way. Everyone then clapped and Tom got an erection. "I'm not okay!" I sang finally and then suddenly Lucius started playing the song wrong by mistake.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Yelled James. "What the fuck?"

"Whoops I'm sorry!" Said Lucius.

"You fucking asshole!" James shouted angrily.

"You guys are such preps!" Snape said. "Come on it was a mistake!"

"Yeah it's not his fault!" Said Sirius.

"No he ruined the fucking song!" Yelled James.

"Will you guys stop it!" I shouted angrily but it was too late. And then they all began to fight and then suddenly James took out a gun.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD NO!" Shouted Lucius but it was too late James tried to shoot off his arm.

And then…I jumped sexily in front of the bullet!

"No!" Yelled everyone but it was too late and then suddenly everything went black.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN: I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I cracked this girl's password for fun (And it took less than 8 minutes to do it too.) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh! And now I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skipped over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, and do whatever you want "preps."

(This seems like it's going to be good even if it is just for one chapter. Maybe I won't have to correct so much spelling mistakes for this chapter.)

I, the American retail wearing British vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

(I'm pretty sure it has been established that Ebony is in fact American. Though that begs the question as to how she got into Hogwarts. But I digress Ms. Troll please do continue on.)

Tom kneeled down beside me.

"Nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooo! Kicketh not the bucket!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry it's something I had to do, to fulfill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Tom did sob. "I loveth thee Ebony."

"I love you too. I'll...I'll see you in Hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

B'loody Mary Smith then suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgonagle, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock and her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Filled the room.

(I cry everytime! Sob...)

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN: I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

(Obviously a wizard did it...er a wizard not from Harry Potter that is. Merlin? Gandalf? You decide!)

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gothic power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the Sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the Harry Potter characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort then started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.

(Meh personally I prefer Harry and Hermione pairings but to each their own Ms. Troll authoress.)

Meanwhile...

Down in Hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong because nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occurred to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (Right or left? I can't remember.) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony suppressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in prep clothing to the extreme and wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, And Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS ILLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocritical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Ebony then slit her wrists and mumbled to herself, "Oh my god."

/End Crap Fic.

(It was so beautiful...minus the Draco and Hermione running off together part though. It definitely made me shed a single tear for sure.)

AN: Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here…

AN: Shut the fuck up preps get a life! YOU SUCK! Oh and for now on I'll be vacationing in England until like August so I wont be able to update for awhile. Thanks to everyone who reviewed except the preps who flamed FUCK YOU! MCR RULES 666!

(Ugh back to our regularly scheduled fanfiction story...unfortunately.)

I woke up in the nurse's office in a special gothic coffin. Hagrid was in the bed opposite of me in a comma because Vampire and Draco had beat him up. Mr. Filch was cleaning the room.

"Oh my Satan what happened!" I screamed and suddenly Voldemort came. He looked less mean than usual.

"Get the fuck out you fucking bastard!" I yelled.

"You has't not hath killed Vampire yet!" That gent hath said angrily and then suddenly that gent did start to caterwauling drops of sorrow of blood all comptible liketh.

"Voldemort? OH MY FUCKING GOD what's wrong?!" I asked.

Suddenly…Lucius, Professor Trelawney, and Sirius came! B'loody Mary and Vampire were with them. Everyone was holding black boxes and then Voldemort disappeared.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, Ebony you're alive!" Screamed Vampire and then I hugged him and B'loody Mary.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked them. "Oh my Satan! Am I like dead now?" I gasped.

(If you were you'd be in Hell right now wearing preppy clothes.)

"Ebony you were almost shot!" Said Sirius. "But the ballet could not kill you since you were from another time period."

(That doesn't make any sense and I call bullshit!)

"But thanks anyway!1" Said Lucius holding out his arm. I gasped and noticed he had two arms!

"OH MY GOD I can't believe Vampires' dad shot you!" I gasped.

"Well to be honest James was possessed by Snape back then." Said Lucius.

"Yeah he was a spy." Sirius said sadly. "He was really a Death Deeler."

"And he wuz such a fuking poser too!" said Lucius. "He didn't even really know who GC were until I told him."

(None of you knew who GC were because they didn't exist yet!)

Well anyways everyone started to give me presents. I was opening a black box with red 666s (There was a dvd of Corpse Bride in it.) on it when I gasped. Mr. Filch looked up angrily caused he hated goths.

"Hey has anyone fucking seen Draco?" I asked gothically.

"No, Draco told me he would be watching House of Wax." Said Professor Trelawney. "He doesn't know that you're better. Anyway the nurse said you could get up so come on!"

I got up suicidally and then Lucius, Sirius, and Professor Trelawney left. I was wearing a black leather nightgown. Under that I had on a sexy black leather bra trimmed with black lace, with a matching g-string that said gothic girl on the butt and sexy fishnets that kind of hooked on to my g-string. (If you don't get the idea message me I'll tell you.) I put on a black fishnet top under a black MCR t-shirt, a black leather mini with black lace and converse shoes. I left the hospital's wing with B'loody Mary, Willow, and Vampire.

(But remember everyone Ebony is totally not a slut!)

"OH MY FUCKING GOD let's celebrate!" Gasped Willow.

"We can go see House of Wax with Draco!" Giggled Vampire.

"Let's go listen to GC and cut ourselves 666!" Said B'loody Mary.

We then opened the common room door sexily and then...I gasped…Draco was there doing it with Snape! He was wearing a black shirt with 666 on the front and baggy jeans.

"You fucking prep!" We all yelled angrily.

"Yeah you betrayed us!" Shouted Vampire angrily as he took out his black gun.

"No you don't understand!" Screamed Draco sadly as he took his cock out of Snape's asshole.

"No shit you fucking suck you preppy bastard!" Said Willow trying to attack him (You rock girl!). I then ran suicidally to my room and then I sexily took a stake out.

"Ebony no!" Screamed Draco but it was too late I had slit my wrists with it and then suddenly everything went black again.

(Bitch you just got out of the hospital!)

Sincerely, An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well...this was in the doc area...might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us...Have a nice day!

Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus.

AN: To everyone who keeps flaming this GET A LIFE! I bet you probably don't know who Gerard Way is you're probably are all preps and posers! Anyways someone hacked into my account in November and they put up my last chapter but now there is a new one. I'm sorry for not updating but I've been really busy. I'm trying to finish the story before the new movie comes out. I'm going on vacation for a month and I won't be back until about two weeks. OH MY FUCKING GOD Draco is so hot in all the pics for the new movie! I wanted them to put in a cameo by Gerard Way he should have played Draco. If you flame I'll slit my wrists! Raven you rock girl have fun in England.

(That's just going to make people want to flame you even more than usual.)

When I woke up I was in a strange room. I looked around I was wearing the same outfit I had when I was performing with XBlackXTearsX! I looked around confusedly. It was the nurse's office but it looked different! On the wall was a pic of Marilyn Manson! (Just imagine that he is an 80s gothic band too. Okay? Cause he is much older then Panic At The Disco or MCR.) there was also a gothic black Beatles calendar with a picture of the Beatles wearing eyeliner and black clothes which said 1980.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! I'm back in time again!" I screamed loudly and then suddenly Tom (This is actually Voldemort for photo reference!) was wearing a black leather jacket, black tight jeans, and fishnet pants. He looked so sexy I almost had an orgasm!

"Oh mine own fucking god, ebony art thee well enow?!" That gent hath asked gothically.

"Yeah I'm okay for your information." I snapped sexily. "OH MY GOD am I dead!?" Cause I remembered I had jumped in front off the bullet from Jame's gun. I also remember seeing Draco doing it with Snape!

(Once again if you were dead then you would be in Hell wearing preppy clothes.)

I guess after I had slit my wrists I had went back in time instead of dying. I knew I could go forward in time if I found a time-turner or the time machine.

(That doesn't make any sense but then nothing in this story does.)

"No you're not dead. " Tom reassur'd me suicidally as that gent smok'd a cigarette sexily and then smoketh cameth all ov'r his visage. "You're a vampire so u cant kicketh the bucket from a bullet. Cometh on anon alloweth's wend seeth how James is doing."

I knew that the real reason I didn't die from the bullet was cause I was from the future.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! James almost shot Lucius!" I knew that James had really been possessed, but I didn't want him to know that I knew.

"Yeah I knoweth but that gent hadst a headache and that gent wast und'r a lot of stress." Tom reason'd evilly.

"I guess that's okay." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucius. Also I know that Lucius would now have two arms instead of one. I walked seductively outside with Tom. Suddenly I saw a totally sexy gothic bi guy! He had bleached blond hair with black streaks up to his ears and he was wearing gothic black eyeliner, a black Green Day shirt (It showed Billie Joe Armstrong with blond hair since it was the eighties.), black converse shoes, and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexily like Gerard way in the video for I Don't Love You Like I Did Yesterday and you could see a black tear on his face like the women in that video.

"Hey." He sed all quietly and goffically.

"Who the fuck is that?" I asked angrily cause I did not know him.

(Is it common for you to be angry about people that you don't know?)

"This is…Hedwig!" Hath said Tom. "He hath used to beest in xblackxtearsx too but that gent hadst to dropeth out causeth that gent hath broken his armeth.

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively even though I was not trying to be.

(I'm not surprised at this point that you do things seductively without realizing it.)

"Hi Ebony." He answered but then he ran away because he had Care of Magical Creatures class. He was humming Welcome to The Black Parade under his breath (I know that is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)

(Bitch you've been asking us to pretend for almost everything in this story!)

"Bye." I said all sexily.

"That was Hedwig that gent hath used to beest mine own boyfriend but then we hath broken up. " Tom hath said sadly, while looking at his black nails.

(Tara you do realize that Hedwig is actually a female owl that belongs to Harry...right?)

"OH MY FUCKING GOD I can get you back together!" I said while fingering something I didn't know was in my pocket...a black Cute is What we Aim for video ipod that I could take videos with (Does anyone else know about them? They kick ass!).

"Okay you can forget about your class for now, Hedwig. I'm going to show you something great!" I then lead them to the Great Hall. "Come on you guys."

Lucius, James, Sirius, and Snape were all in the Great Hall. Lucius wouldn't talk with James because he had tried to shoot him.

"Go fuck yourself you fucking douche!" He shouted at him. "Draco is never going to be friends with Vampire now!"

(More information that these characters shouldn't know about.)

"Yeah go fuck yourself James!" Snape agreed but I knew he was lying cause it had been his fault that James had almost shot Lucius.

"Be quiet you guys." I said sexily as my plan was working out great. Now I could make Voldemort good without doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad would never die. "Okay Tom and Hedwig, you guys can start making out." I said and I started to film them with the ipod.

"Cool." Said Sirius as Voldemort and Hedwig started to make out sexily. We watched as they started to take each other's clothes off sexily. James, Sirius, Snape, and Lucius all watched cause they were probably bi. I know Snape was bi for sure.

"Oh my fucking god! Tom! Tom!" Screamed Hedwig as his cock touched Voldemort's.

But then suddenly everything stopped as the door opened and in came…Dumbledore and Mr. Filch!

AN: Oh My God the new book is coming out really soon I can't wait! I think that Snape will be really the same person as Voldemort cause they are both half bloods so that will explain why he killed Dumbledore and he hated Harry! And then Harry will have to commit suicide so Voldemort will die cause he will really be a horcrux! OH MY GOD I hope Draco and Harry get together that will be so smexy, won't it? If they don't then J.K. Rowling is homophobic! Thanks for the help with facts, Medusa you rock!

(No Tara you don't get to call anyone homophobic! Did you forget the part where you called your critics gay fags? Also no, Snape and Voldemort are not the same damn person!)

I sat depressingly in Dumbledore's office with Hedwig, Tom, James, Sirius, Snape, and Lucius. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked much younger than he did in the future. He had taken the ipod away and was now listening 2 a shitty Avril Lavigne song.

"What the hell is this anyways?" He cackled menacingly. I was hoping he wouldn't find out that I was from another time.

"Whatev'r thee doth censure not Ebony, thee j'rk!" Tom hath said.

"Yeah, seriously she was trying to get Tom and Hedwig back together." Sirius said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cackled. "If you're lucky I'll probably send you all to Azkaban! That will teach you to fornicate in the Great Hall." He then changed the song on the ipod to a N'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed something strong about the Ipod. It was slowly changing but Dumbledore didn't notice.

(Tara if Dumbledore doesn't know what the ipod is then how is he able to use it? Also if this is your ipod then why are there songs on it that you don't like?)

"You fucking poser." I muttered.

"I bet you've never heard of GC." James said.

I then realized that the ipod was changing into Marty Mcfly's time machine!

"Shut up James!" Draco's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Snape said preppily.

"No thee break thee off Dumbled're!" Hath said Tom.

"I've had enough of you Satanists in my school!" Shouted Dumbledore.

Suddenly I grabbed the iPod from him.

"Everyone jump in before it's too late!"

I then jumped into it but only 1 other person jumped in it as well. It was...Tom!

"You dunderheads!" Screamed Dumbledore wisely as we jumped in the time machine.

I looked around and I was in the Slytherin common room with Tom. I was wearing a black plaid mini skirt with hot pink fishnets, a sexy black MCR corset, and black stiletto boots with pink pentagrams on them. My earrings were black Satanist symbols and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.

"Hey merit wh're is this?" That gent hath asked in an emo voice.

"This is the future Dumbledore's iPod that he tried to take away from me was really also a time machine." I told him.

"Cool what's an ipod?" That gent whimp'r'd.

"It's something you use to listen to music with." I explained.

"Oh mine own fucking god merit waiteth what's a four lett'r-w'rd f'r dirt?" That gent hath asked in his sexy voice.

"Um I guess sand?" I said confusedly.

"Yeah I wast just trying to maketh sure thee w're still the same p'rson. " That gent triumphantly giggl'd.

(How the Hell is that supposed to prove that she's the same person?)

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OH MY GOD you're fucking alive!" Said Darkness wearing a black leather jacket, black baggy pants, and a gothic black From First to Last shirt.

I then explained to her why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." Said Willow.

(Tara you seriously need to master the English language first before moving on to any other languages.)

She was wearing a black corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stripes on it. With it she was wearing a black leather miniskirt, big black boots, white foundation, black eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and black lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker!" Said Diabolo.

He was wearing a black PATD t-shirt and black baggy pants.

"Hey who's that, Ebony?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shirt with a red pentagram on it with lace at the bottom, red leather pants with black lace, and black stilettos.

"Oh it's Tom Riddle." I told her and she nodded knowing the truth.

Suddenly Tom started to cry.

"Are you okay Tom?" We asked concerned.

"Oh mine own fucking god thou art from the future! What if 't be true thee liketh not me anym're causeth we're from diff'rent timeth p'riods?" That gent hath asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.

"Okay. " That gent hath said reassuringly.

I then let him listen to Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some things. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Tom occupied. Tom then fell asleep and I then took the iPod away. I was about to walk outside when Professor Trelawney ran in! She was wearing a gothic black mini dress with depressing black stripes, white and black striped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing lots of black eyeliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco! How did Snape get back here! I thought he was in Azkaban?" I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried about you but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vampire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Trelawney said reassuringly.

"That bitch! Did she also free Hagrid and Lupin?" I shouted angrily.

I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.

(Tara the only reason why you don't like Britney is because she lives a completely different lifestyle compared to you. You're character Ebony is seriously the most unlikable character in this story. Someone being a prep isn't a good enough reason to hate them.)

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumbledore is back and Cornelius is on his way to help everyone. Tell everyone you see to lock themselves in their common room!" Trelawney said worryingly.

"Okay but where's Draco? How come he was doing it with Snape?"

"I don't know why but I know he almost tried to commit suicide after he saw you almost killing yourself." She said.

"OH MY GOD that's terrible!" I gasped.

Tom was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said…

"Listen everyone, I have something important to do so please stay in here!" With that I then ran out.

"Good luck Ebony!" Everyone cried.

I then ran sexily down the stairs into the Great Hall while the portraits around looked at me fearfully. There was hardly anyone else on the stairs and there was an atmosphere of horror. On the way I saw Britney laughing on the stairs. She was wearing a slutty pink shirt with flowers on it, a blue jean skirt, and pink stilettos. She looked just like a cross between those fucking preps Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan.

(Tara you have no room to talk when it comes to slutty clothes. Hypocrisy is thy name and calling the kettle black is thy game!)

"You fucking bitch!" I shouted angrily.

"No, you're totally a bitch and now Voldemort will like totally kill you!" She laughed preppily.

(Regardless of what Tara thinks Britney is correct about Ebony being a bitch.)

"Crucio!" I shouted while pointing my black wand and then she started screaming because she was being tortured and I laughed sadistically.

(Why do we have to lose all the good characters and get stuck with the shitty characters like Ebony?)

"No help me please!" Britney screamed in horror.

(I would definitely help you Britney if I could.)

I put up my middle finger at her and noticed in her hand the video camera Snape and Lupin had used to take the video of me. I put the tape of Voldemort doing it with Hedwig onto it. Then I continued to run down the stairs with the camera. When I reached the Great Hall I then saw Vampire Potter.

"OH MY GOD Vampire!" I yelled.

We then hugged each other happily and he looked at me with his gothic red eyes and spiky black hair. Around them were black eyeliner and eyeShadow. He was wearing a black leather jacket, leather pants, a Panic at the Disco concert shirt, and his black converse shoes. He looked more like Joel from Good Charlotte than ever. (Did you hear their song The River? It rocks!)

(Something tells me that Tara doesn't know what The River is about. Because if she did then she would have forsaken GC on the spot. Because from what I can tell it is apparently about the band discovering Christianity. And if we know anything about Tara its that she is a supposed Satanist and hates Christianity.)

"I was so worried that you died!" Moaned Vampire.

(Seriously what is with the constant moaning in this story? People keep moaning when they really shouldn't be.)

"I know but I'm a vampire and when I woke up I was back in 1980, so anyway I brought Voldemort from when he was young with me."

(1980? Yeah Hot Topic definitely should have not existed then...among other things that were wrong with the 80s in this story.)

"Where's Draco?" I asked.

"Draco? You mean that fucking poser who betrayed you?" Vampire snarled with anger in his sexy sounding voice.

(How do you know that Snape didn't rape Draco? I like how all of his supposed friends just assume he's a preppy traitor and throw him under a bus.)

"I KNOW BUT WE HAVE TO FIND HIM!" I said intelligently.

(You haven't explained why you need to find Draco though. Also nothing you have said in this story has been intelligent Tara.)

"I'll do it then." Vampire said angstily.

"Okay." I agreed.

Suddenly...all the lights in the room went out and then...the Dark Lord appeared.

"Oh my fucking Satan!" Vampire shouted.

(Tara if you're going to change the characters names then the least you could do is stick with the new names! Stop going back and forth between your altered names and the canon names.)

"I think Voldemort has arrived." I said anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Draco I guess we should separate."

(Thanks for the observation there Captain Obvious.)

"Okay." Vampire said depressingly.

I then ran into the Great Hall in a very sad way.

AN: I think after this I will have about two or three more chapters. Thanks to all my reviewers not the flamers! If you flamed this story then you suck! If you flame then FUCK you!

(So we were supposed to have 47 chapters instead of the 44 chapters we currently have now? I can assure you most of those reviews are from trolls.)

I walked sexily into the Great Hall and it was empty except for one person. Draco was there! He sat there in his black 666 t-shirt and his baggy black pants. He had slit his wrists! I felt mad at him for having sex with Snape but I felt sorry for him as well. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.

(Something tells me that Ebony isn't as sexy as she would like to think she is.)

"Draco are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay." He screamed sadly.

I thought of the MCR song and I got even more depressed cause that song always makes me cry. I then gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Draco! Why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked tearfully.

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Filch appeared in the room! They didn't see us.

"I'm so glad Snape and I were freed." Said Lupin.

"Damn, this job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking students!" Mr. Filch said.

(This sounds like a Clerks reference but I refuse to believe that Tara purposely put in a Clerks reference in this story. It's not very goth last I checked.)

"Pop addelum!" I yelled angrily pointing my wand at them.

(Tara there is no spell called pop addelum. Also you're thinking of Conjuration which is part of Transfiguration.)

"Noooooooo!" Lupin shouted as chains wrapped around him and then Mr. Filch ran away.

"You fucking perv!" I said laughing with depths of evil and depression in my voice. "Now you have to tell us where Voldemort is or I'm going to torture you!"

(Why is the main character evil? Are we really supposed to have sympathy for an evil character in this story? Tara obviously didn't think this through very well if at all.)

"I don't know where he is!" Said Lupin.

Suddenly Tom and Vampire ran into the room and Vampire didn't know who Tom really was.

"Oh my Satan, we were so worried about you guys!" Vampire said.

I then looked sexily at Draco with his gothic red eyes with contacts, black t-shirt that said 666 on it, and pale skin like Gerard Way. Vampire with his sexy black hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero. And Tom who looked just like Brendon Urie.

I seductively took the camera from my pocket and then...I began frenching Draco sexily. Lupin gasped and Draco began to take all of his clothes off and I could see his white six-pack. Then Vampire took his own clothes off too and we all began making out together sexily. I then took off my black leather bra, my black lace g-string, and the rest of my clothes. Everyone then took their cocks out except for me because I'm a girl.

"Oh my Satan, Draco!" I screamed as he put his cock in my pussy. Then he did the same thing to Vampire. I then began making out with Tom and he joined in.

"OH MY SATAN!" Cried Vampire.

"Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed.

"Oh Tom!" Yelled Vampire in pleasure.

Lupin watched in shock and then we took turns doing torture curses on him cause we were all sadists. Suddenly...a big black car that said 666 on the license plate flew straight through the windows and Snape was in it!

(And of course since we are near the end of the story Tara has decided to have one last sex scene. But not just any sex scene but a bisexual orgy sex scene!)

AN: Well I have nothing to say except for everyone to stop flaming! Okay?! If any gothic people are reading this then you rock! OH MY GOD I still can't wait for the movie! Tom Felton is so hot! I hope Harry will become gothic cause my friend told me he is really emo in this book! OH MY FUCKING GOD I'm leaving Dubya pretty soon can't wait! This will probably be the last chapter until I come back.

(Turns out it was the final chapter overall because Tara never did finish this story.)

"That's my car!" Shouted Draco angrily.

But suddenly it was revealed who was in the car It was...Snape!

"I shall free you Lupin but first you must help me kill these idiotic dunderheads." He said cruelly from the car as it flew counterclockwise above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Then the Dark Lord shall never die!"

"You fucking prep!" Yelled Draco but then he looked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell you, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sex with him he's a rapist!"

We all put our clothes on quickly except for Tom. We were so scared but Tom didn't change his clothes. Instead he changed into a man with green eyes, no nose, a gray robe, and white skin. He had changed into…Voldemort!

(What a twist!/_**S**_)

"I kneweth who is't thee w're all 'long." That gent cackl'd evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shalt killeth all of thee!"

Thunder then came in the room.

"No please don't kill us!" Pleaded Vampire.

Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diablo, Darkness, Dracula, Fred, George, Hagrid, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Sirius, and Lucius all ran in.

"What is the meaning of this?" Dumbledore asked all angrily.

Voldemort looked away (Because Dumbledore is the only wizard he is scared of.) He then did a spell and then suddenly his broomstick came to him sexy way. Voldemort then flew above the roof evilly on his broomstick.

(Even fucking inanimate objects do things sexily in Tara-Topia...you've got to be fucking kidding me!)

"Oh my goth!" Slughorn gasped. (Get it? Cause I'm gothic.)

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you and then you must submit to him!" Snape exclaimed menacingly.

"You fucking preppy fags!" Sirius shouted angrily.

"I know a four letter word for dirt, Crucio!" Screamed Vampire but the sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It then fell down and Snape quickly crawled out of it and picked up the video camera.

"Oh my fucking god!" I cried because the video was of me in da bathroom, the video of me doing it with Draco, and the video of Tom doing it with Hedwig.

(Don't you think you have far more important things to worry about besides a fucking video tape?)

"If you kill me then these videos will be shown to everyone in the school. Then you can be just like that gothic girl Paris Hilton." He laughed meanly.

(I didn't know Paris Hilton was gothic.)

"No!" I screamed. "FOR YOUR INFORMATION I have the picture of you doing it with Lupin!"

"What's she talking about?" Lupin said as he sat in chains.

"I saw it too she's gonna show everyone the picture!" Vampire shouted angrily.

"Shut up!" Lupin roared.

"Foolish ign'ramuses!" Did yell Voldem'rt from his broomstick. "You shalt all kicketh the bucket lief. "

"Think again you fucking muggle poser!" Vampire yelled.

Then he, Diablo, and Dracula took out black guns but Voldemort took out his own gun.

"You guys are in a Mexican standoff!" I shouted in a depressed tone of voice.

"Acco Dracula's wand!" Did cry Voldem'rt and suddenly Dracula's wand wast in his hands. "Now I shalt killeth thee all and ev'ryone of thee shall kicketh the bucket!"

He then made lighting appear all over the place.

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledore cried.

I then cried sexily I just wanted to go to the common room and slit my wrists with my friends while we watched Shark Attack 3 and Saw 2. And then do it with Draco but I knew I had to do something more important.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" I shouted.

**The End **

And that ladies and attack helicopters is the end of the infamous Harry Potter fanfiction story known as My Immortal. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed editing it. My main goal was to make a version of this that people could easily read and hopefully understand. It was pretty tedious at times especially at the end due to all the constant spelling errors and grammar mistakes. Luckily most of the chapters were pretty short and not even a page long. And while I can't edit the story to where it makes sense "plot" wise I hope people can at least read it easier. As stated before I wanted to make a version that was legible and easier to read. If anyone wants me to do the same thing to Tara and Raven's other stories "I'm Not Okay" and "Ghost of You" please let me know. Anyways please enjoy this version of My Immortal and feel free to leave a review!


	3. Bonus Chapter: I'm Not Okay

**I'm Not Okay Written in Proper English **

**Chapters 1 - 5**

Here is the first bonus chapter for My Immortal Written In Proper English. This time I will be translating Raven's story known as I'm Not Okay. I'm Not Okay is basically My Immortal just with slightly better English and grammar. But just like My Immortal, I'm Not Okay also disregards Harry Potter canon. Not a whole lot is known about Raven other than the fact that she edited the first 15 chapters of My Immortal, wrote I'm Not Okay, and co-authored Ghost of You with Tara. And of course by chapter 16 of My Immortal both Raven and Tara had a falling out with each other. Raven's real name is apparently Jennie and seems to have the same taste in movies and music as Tara. Anyways as usual I will post my commentary when I feel it's needed and yes it will be snarky. Something about Tara and Raven's writings just compels me to want to be really snarky.

**Chapter 1: Helena**

Fifteen-year-old Eternity Demen'tia Johnson warily took a seat on the Hogwarts Express. As she did so, she heard many giggles in the air.

"Ugh stupid preps!"

Eternity had hoped she wouldn't see any when she came to Hogwarts. They had made her life in Los Angeles High School miserable. Now she was supposed to put up with them here? She sighed sadly, and stared out of the window. In her misery, she took her iPod out of her Emily the Strange bag and blared on some My Chemical Romance (AN: Don't they rock?).

(Both Tara and Raven don't seem to realize that only UK wizards and witches can go to Hogwarts. Also Raven you should know that the ipod and MCR didn't exist yet. What's up with Tara and Raven being into some obscure character from the 90s known as Emily the Strange? Also no story by Raven and Tara would be complete without bashing preps for no reason.)

Oh great now even more preps were giving her dirty looks. Eternity tried her best to ignore them. It wasn't because Eternity was dirty or deformed or anything. Maybe it was something to do with her black leather corset, or her ripped black mini skirt or her black combat boots or the metal music she was listening to.

(Or maybe Raven it's because you're not wearing the Hogwarts school uniform which is required. Also the fact that you're American and not from the UK. How the hell does a 15 year old end up going to a UK only wizarding school anyways?)

Eternity hated how people judged her like that just because she was a goth.

(I'm pretty sure it's been years since people have been judged for being goth and punk. In current year it's pretty normal for goths to judge other people. But this was written in 2006 most likely so maybe it was different back then. I just remember that making fun of emos was pretty popular back in 2006.)

She was beautiful, with long raven black hair with red streaks, deathly pale ivory skin, and piercing blue eyes that would make any goth man's heart beat like a subway train. She was skinny, but had curves in all the right places. But her eyes still bore the sadness of the scars of her tragic past.

(Look here Raven I like big titty goth girls as much as the next person but the description you have given Eternity doesn't really sound that appealing to me. Of course Ebony doesn't sound that appealing either.)

When she was two, Eternity's parents (she was a pureblood) had committed suicide by slitting their wrists. She was adopted when she was five, but all was not well. Her new life was hell. She was constantly abused, beaten, and raped by her new parents. Every night she would sit down and cry in her bed. Even at school, she was always being bullied. Her life was totally fucked-up and she couldn't stand it.

(Looks like Raven and Tara like to use the same "tragic" backgrounds for their characters. Also sorry for bringing Tara and My Immortal up a lot but it's hard not to when talking about Raven. When talking about one it's kind of impossible to not talk about the other.)

When she was eleven, she kept getting mail and stuff from Hogwarts but her adopted parents wouldn't let her go. Finally, at fourteen, she was forced to run away.

(You know Eternity is starting sound pretty similar to Harry...I have a feeling that was done on purpose.)

Anyway, Eternity saw someone trying to sit down next to her and she jumped to her feet.

"Get the fuck out of here you fucking bastard!" She shouted.

(Raven you can't tell people to get the fuck away on a public train. Also I can see why people don't like you and Tara very much. You're both very rude and hostile towards other people especially those you don't know. Neither one of you seem to know how to interact with other humans. Calling someone a bastard isn't the best way to greet someone.)

"What's wrong?" Asked the person.

Suddenly Eternity felt calm since the person had a very low, sexy voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Eternity apologized.

(Well Raven since you apologized I'll forgive you...this time. But don't let it happen again...or else!)

"It's alright now can I at least fucking sit here?" Asked the boy.

"Fine." Said Eternity.

The boy then sat down and Eternity looked at his face. He was extremely hot and he had long dyed black hair and blue eyes.

"What's your name?" Asked Eternity.

"Draco." He said.

(Say what you want about My Immortal but at least Tara didn't alter Draco's appearance. Draco has blond hair not dyed black hair!)

"That's an unusual name. But I guess I can't fucking talk since my name's Eternity." Said Eternity.

"Cool." Said Draco.

Draco and Eternity then shook hands.

"How old are you?" Eternity wanted to know.

"Fifteen. How about you?" asked Draco.

"Same."

Then, the train stopped and Draco and Eternity had to separate.

(Truly the saddest moment in the story yet! I cry every time.)

**Chapter 2: The Beautiful People**

AN: If you're a prep, DON'T READ THIS STORY. If you're not please help me out by suggesting some goth bands and movies for me to reference. Thanks!

(Holy shit I'm already having Nam styled flashbacks of My Immortal! Funny how Tara never asked people for suggestions for goth bands and movies. But apparently Raven needs some.)

After the train ride Eternity and the other students then got off the train. Eternity was shocked by the beautiful castle in front of her. A very tall bearded man then asked them to follow him into some little boats.

Draco then waved good-bye to Eternity and made death's touch sin. (AN: If you don't know what that is I suggest you fuck off to a Britney Spears concert or something.)

(At least Tara didn't tell people to go fuck themselves when mentioning death's touch sin. No she told people to go fuck themselves when it came to other things. I'm pretty sure Britney Spears was irrelevant in 2006. Would it kill you to explain what death's touch sin is? I'm starting to think that Raven is way more of a cunt than Tara was.)

Eternity and the others trooped inside the big castle.

"Is this the school?" She asked a fourth-year next to her. "It's beautiful." Said Eternity. 

"You think that's beautiful?" A preppy first-year girl with blonde hair wearing a Hilary Duff t-shirt asked.

"Why the fuck not?" Eternity asked defensively.

"Yuck, it looks scary to me." Said the girl and Eternity rolled her eyes.

"Ignore her she's just another stuck-up prep." Said another girl next to Eternity.

(Interesting enough we don't get a reason as to why preps are bad in My Immortal. But in Raven's story they seem to be made into unlikable cunts. Though something tells me it's simply because they have a different lifestyle.)

Eternity looked at the girl and noticed she was pretty and she looked about fifteen and had long black hair with purple streaks up to her waist with one forest-green eye and one blue one. She was wearing a long flowing black dress under her school uniform and fishnets and combat boots underneath that.

(Well at least somebody attempted to wear the school uniform for once. I'm starting to think Raven and Tara don't like school uniforms. Guess they're just not goth enough for them.)

"What's your name?" Eternity asked her.

"Fillipa (AN: Filly there's a shout-out to you _**girlfriend!**_) Clarke. Call me Filly if you want. But my middle name's Shadow. You could call me that too." She said.

_Special fangs (Get it? Because I'm gothic.) to my __**girlfriend (Eww not in that way!)**_ _Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling you rock!_ \- Tara from My Immortal chapter 1 _  
_

We shook hands and then we had to separate because I had to follow Hagrid and the first-years into a magnificent hall. Banners were draped everywhere and there were four long tables in the room.

(Well at least Raven got Hagrid's name and job correct so far. You must be one of the oldest First Years there since most of them are 11 years old. Shouldn't you be in Fifth Year since you're 15? Actually you shouldn't even be there since you're not from the UK.)

An old man with a long beard then introduced himself.

"I am Professor Dumbledore. Welcome back." He said.

(Raven did you even read the books or watch the movies? Dumbledore was the headmaster he hasn't been a professor in years!)

He made a long speech and then he brought out an old wrinkly hat to sort them into houses.

"Let the sorting begin!" He announced.

(Well at least Dumbledore hasn't been made into a prep...yet.)

Eternity then gasped, because the hat then burst into song. After he sang the song, everyone then clapped. The sound of applause then filled the large room. Some people then went down to be sorted.

When it was Eternity's turn, she sat down nervously on the wooden chair and her heart beat like thunder. "Slytherin!" Shouted the hat.

Happiness then filled Eternity. How could it be?

Draco looked at her and his grey blue eyes filled with joy. Eternity shrugged and sat down at the Slytherin table next to Shadow. The night went on and Hogwarts had a feast. Meanwhile Shadow introduced Eternity to her friends. (Draco was one of them.) She pointed to a girl with long purple hair with black tips wearing ripped jeans and an Atreyu t-shirt (AN: that's u, Tara!).

"That's Elvira." She said.

(Hey look everyone it's Ebony...er I mean Elvira! Wait...Elvira? I have a feeling this version has nothing to do with the real life version.)

Then she introduced Eternity to another boy with black hair and green eyes.

"Hey, bitch." Grinned Elvira.

(Yep that sounds like an insert of Tara alright. What with her calling everyone a bitch and what not.)

"And that's Darren he's a half-vampire." She said, pointing to the boy.

(It wouldn't be a Tara or Raven story without at least one gothic vampire character. I'm surprised that Eternity isn't a vampire to be honest.)

"Hi." Said Darren.

The four of them talked about Marilyn Manson and the Underworld movies for a while and made fun of Christina Aguilera and Hilary Duff. Then, it was time to go to the dormitories.

(Underworld movies didn't exist in the 90s. Raven please show me on the doll where Hilary Duff touched you at. She obviously has hurt you in some way. Why else would you act like she is the worst thing in the word?)

**Chapter 3: Duality**

AN: Look, I don't care when the fuck Harry Potter is! In my version it takes place now. By the way, please come up with some goth bands and movies If you noticed I used some of the gothic bands! PS: NO PREPS.

(Maybe you don't care but I definitely care! Look Raven you and Tara could have saved yourselves some major headaches if you went about this all differently. You could have made this an AU fic or even have the story take place after Harry and friends graduated from Hogwarts. But nope you decided to take some huge liberties with the HP universe. You can't have HP take place in 2006 and have characters like Draco still in school. People are rightfully going to chew you out for it. Of course by now you mean 2006. Why can't you Google goth bands and movies on your own? And of course we have the usual prep bashing.)

After dinner Eternity had to go back into line with the first-years (she was part of them but much older) Draco and another girl lead them upstairs into the Slytherin dorm. (AN: In this story Draco and Pansy are cousins.) Eternity got to go to the front of the line to talk to Draco. She plunged her booted feet onto the stone floor and did so until she was at the front of the line.

(Yeah try four years older! Any particular reason why she is Draco's cousin in this story?)

The other girl talking to Draco had long ebony locks with blue streaks in them. She wore lots of white foundation and black eyeliner. She looked just like the girl in Linkin Park's video for Crawling. A.N: Here's the video…

(Raven you moron you can't insert weblinks in facfiction stories on FF's website!)

AN: Eternity looks more like Amy Lee.

(Wow what do you know both Eternity and Ebony look like Amy Lee! Coincidence?)

"What's your name?" Eternity asked.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson. Well, that's what my motherfucking parents called me. Call me Sea." She replied.

(How dare your parents give you a name! Don't they know they should have waited till you were old enough to name yourself? I'll admit that Pansy is kind of a dumb name but Sea is dumb as well. When you have a name worse than Aquaman then you know you've fucked up.)

"And I'm Eternity." Said Eternity.

Draco just smiled shyly at Eternity through his silvery-blue eyes and black hair. They then walked upstairs to the dorms. Eternity couldn't help but notice that the castle looked a lot like the one in Dracula. As she, Draco, Sea, and the first-years went up the stairs, a lot of preps from other houses stared at them looking scared.

(Why? Because all castles look the same to you? Seems pretty racist...to castles. What do you mean by Dracula? I have a pretty good feeling you're talking about a movie. I can't imagine you read the original novel.)

A girl with brown hair and brown eyes kept staring at them. She was talking (probably about cheerleading or some shit like that) with a girl with long blonde hair. Eternity stuck her middle finger up at the girls. The girls gasped, their eyes got big, and they turned around.

(See Raven this is why nobody likes you or Tara because you act like complete cunts towards people for no reason. You had no reason to give those two girls the middle finger they weren't doing anything to you. But because they have different lifestyles and tastes you felt the need to provoke them for no reason. I have a pretty good feeling that both you and Tara do this to people in real life as well. This is just really sad and childish.)

"Who the hell were they?" Eternity asked Draco.

"Hermione Granger. The girl next to her was Luna Lovegood." Said Draco.

(Damn how you have fallen from grace, Hermione! You used to be Ebony's friend and a goth in My Immortal. I wonder what you did to end up getting kicked out of Goth Heaven? Welp now it looks like you're in Prep Hell. What a shame. Actually surprised Luna didn't end up as a goth in My Immortal.)

"They're such goddamn bitches." Said Sea.

"And the biggest fucking preps ever." Added Draco.

Eternity couldn't help but agree.

(How can you agree? You just met them and gave them the middle finger for no reason.)

They then stopped at a portrait it was of a girl with pale skin, long black hair, and black nails. She was the spitting image of the lead singer of Sisters of Mercy.

(I was told that the lead singer is a guy.)

"What the fuck? Why aren't we at the door?" Asked Eternity. "Password?" Asked the girl. "Bleeding kisses." Draco said to the girl. "Correct." Said the girl and the portrait swung back to reveal a hole. The first-years, Draco, and Sea stepped inside along with Eternity as well.

(Why would Hogwarts have a portrait of a muggle band member?)

Suddenly, she was face-to-face with Gerard Way.

"Oh my fucking god! I so fucking love your band!" She screamed.

"Huh?" Asked Gerard.

"Hold on, hold on. That's not Gerard." Elvira laughed.

"That's Satan. Everybody says he looks like Gerard." Said Shadow.

"Not that that's a bad thing!" Said Darren.

"Dude, I love MCR." Said Satan.

Eternity smiled and shook their pale hands.

Satan had long black hair up to his chin, just like Gerard. His eyes were pale blue and misty, like tears Eternity cried every night. He wore black eyeliner and black nail polish.

"Do you happen to like Slipknot or Sisters of Mercy?" Asked Eternity in a flirty voice.

"They kick ass!" Agreed Satan.

(Hey character representing Raven! Yes character representing Raven? Do you also love bands that Raven loves? Why yes I also love bands that Raven loves. Me too! WHAT A COINCIDENCE! )

He and Eternity immediately began talking. The night went on really well and Eternity and her new friends talked about bands like Slipknot, MCR, Evanescence, GC, Marilyn Manson, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus, Dead Can Dance, Christian Death, Joy Division, the Cure, Siouxsie, The Banshees, Clan of Xymox, Fields of the Nephilim, Southern Death Cult, 45 Grave, X-mal Deutschland, and Garden of Delight. They all agreed that they rocked and they all hated shitty pop bands like BSB and Play.

(Most of those bands don't even exist yet or are very new by the 90s.)

They used razors to slit their wrists when they felt depressed. The crimson regret flowed out on their pale white skin. They gave each other makeovers with black eyeliner, white foundation and lipstick and they read Dracula and Point Horror books out loud to each other with all the lights turned out and only flashlights.

(Bullshit I do not believe for one second that you read Dracula! Dracula was written in a very specific way. I doubt your young gothic teenage mind would be able to stand it.)

Eternity felt overjoyed. Just a week ago she had been the only person in her school who had dyed black hair and black eyeliner instead of lip gloss and blonde hair, liked Slipknot or Linkin Park or MCR rather than Hilary Duff or Destiny's Child, slit her wrists, thought about suicide, shopped at Hot Topic instead of Limited Too, swore, or was depressed. Now there were so many wonderful people just like her. She was ecstatic.

(You definitely have a few things in common with social justice fanatics especially the Tumblr variety. If you keep slitting your wrists you're going to kill yourself! Do you want to kill yourself? Nobody should be thinking about suicide its not healthy. Being depressed isn't great either...please seek help ASAP!)

**Chapter Four: Bring Me to Life**

Eternity woke up the next morning. She brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and then went to her closet. She put on a long black dress that was all ripped and torn, with pink stuff underneath (kind of like the one Amy Lee wore to the Grammys) and then put on big black combat boots. Shadow, Elvira, and Sea all got up and…

"You are so lucky, bitch." Moaned Shadow while she put on her own clothes (a long black dress with a corset at the top, pointy high-heeled boots, and fishnets). "You have such a great body." Added Sea, putting on a ripped black dress with no sleeves that looked exactly like the one the lead singer of her favorite goth band had worn to the MTV awards that year. (Elvira put on a long black velvet dress with crimson lace.)

(Tara and Raven really love having their characters call each other bitch.)

Eternity laughed but secretly she knew what her friends meant. They were all skinny, but not as much as her, and they all had size-B bras.

She sadly put her hair up in a messy half-bun, (kind of like Amy Lee has in the video for 'Going Under.') put on tons of eyeliner, black lipstick, and went downstairs with her friends.

(Seems Raven is obsessed with Amy Lee more than Tara was.)

A.N: Here it is…

At the breakfast table, she ate Count Chocula cereal and drank red wine even though it was only breakfast. Darren had made a request for human blood, so he drank that and let his friends try some.

(Once again Count Chocula should have been a main character...NO I AM NOT KIDDING!)

They all clinked their glasses.

"To depression." Said Eternity.

(Once again please seek help...ASAP!)

"To darkness." Said Satan.

"To vampires." Said Sea.

"To heavy metal music." Said Shadow.

"To Eternity." Said Draco.

Everyone started giggling, except for Draco. Eternity's pale complexion turned red. Everyone then went off to their classes. Eternity hated all of the classes, even though she was good at them.

(Then why are you here?)

In Transfiguration class, Eternity had to sit next to a bunch of giggling blonde girls. Their teacher, Professor McGonagall made a speech, and then made them practice transfiguration on a bunch of ants they would try to turn into pencils.

Everyone was trying, but it didn't work for them. Suddenly, Eternity found herself pointing to the ant and saying a spell…Suddenly, the ant turned into a gigantic black unicorn with huge black wings and flew out the window. Everyone in the room gasped. Later, Professor McGonagall had a talk with Eternity.

"Eternity, you are being moved up to your fifth year." She said.

(If I didn't think this was a power fantasy before I definitely do now.)

**Chapter Five: In the Shadows**

AN: TARA IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH EVER AND BY THE WAY I'M A BIGGER MCR FAN AND GERARD IS MINE FOREVER SO FUCK YOU! AND I'M NOT GIVING YOU YOUR SWEATER BACK!

(Here we have Raven's side of fallout with Tara. It seems that Raven's writing gets just as bad as Tara's when she's angry. I really want to know more about the sweater-poster war.)

Eternity was so happy. She then went to class with the other fifth-years, Sea, Draco, Shadow, Darren, and Satan. That fucking retard Elvira (whose real name was Lindsay like that fucking hoe Lindsay Lohan) had gone all the way back to first-year and they put her in Gryffindor where all the retarded preps were because she couldn't even write properly and she had to get all her friends to do it for her.

(Raven must have been really salty during her fallout with Tara. Alright Raven show me on the doll where Lindsay touched you at. Though it's true that Tara can't write to save her life.)

For contrast let's look at what Tara wrote about Raven…

_**"Hajimemashite girl." She said happily (She speaks Japanese and so do I. That means 'how do you do' in Japanese). "By the way Willow that fucking poser got expelled and she failed all her classes and she skipped math."**_

_**AN: RAVEN YOU FUKING SUCK! FUCK YOU!**_

_**"It serves that fucking bitch right." I laughed angrily.**_

_**Anyway, we were feeling all depressed and we watched some gothic movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas.**_

_**"Maybe Willow will die." I said.**_

_**"Kawaii." B'loody Mary shook her head lethargically. "Oh yeah I have a confession to make. After she got expelled I murdered her and then Lupin did it with her cause he's a neophiliac."**_

_**"Kawaii." I commented happily.**_

Anyway, Eternity woke up from her dark slumber and got ready for the coming day, which she hated so much. She put on a black leather mini dress with black fishnets and black pointy boots. Then she put on some mascara, white foundation, black lipstick, and eyeliner. All the gothic boys stared at her, their piercing blue eyes getting wide.

All the preps did too but for a different reason. She put up her middle finger at them and then she put on some MCR music.

She plunged her black feet on the stone cold ground and then walked to Transfiguration.

"Hello everyone." Said Professor McGonagall while staring at them. "You will all be doing something different this time. You will all have partners." She then made everyone find a partner and Eternity's partner was…Draco!

**The End **


	4. Bonus Chapter 2: Ghost Of You

Ghost Of You Written in Proper English

Disclaimer: Um okay I don't own this and it's co authored with xxxbloodyrists666xxx.

AN: The other story got a bit boring so here goes and if you're one of the fuckers who flamed Tara's story you can go to Hell, cause she helped with this. I don't give a fuck when Harry Potter takes place. This takes place NOW, and it's MY story, so they can have iPods and NORMAL clothes and shit if I want them to. So if you're against goths or a prep or something then do everyone a favor and fuck off.

(Please define NORMAL.)

Hermoine Granger checked her black lipstick in her black makeup mirror as she trudged her way to the Hogwarts Express. Last year, she probably would have been a freak with a bushy mass of hair and brown eyes.

(Hermione was fine till you fucked around with her...well book version at least. I don't like movie Hermione.)

But after the events of this Summer, she certainly didn't. Hermione had changed over the Summer. Her parents had revealed to her during their summer vacation in America that they were not in fact her parents at all, rather, both her parents were wizards and she had been adopted by the Grangers. The Grangers, who had spat on her, abused her, neglected her for so long (Note: And yes, this is possible because it is never implied that it's NOT true.) The nights Hermione had spent suffering in her room, wishing it would all stop…They refused to reveal to her who her parents were and why she had been abandoned. In her rage, Hermione or Maya, as she was now called had murdered them, using magic. This was unknown to the Ministry. Hermione spent the rest of the Summer in Tokyo at Cho's apartment with her and Ginny. She had grown very close to both of them.

(Yes remember everyone just because something isn't stated to be true doesn't mean it can't be true. Maya? I mean it sounds slightly better than Smith but still not great. Cho is Chinese not Japanese.)

Now as she embarked the train to her sixth year, Maya swished her nearly waist-length, newly dyed raven locks and blinked her emerald with the use of magic eyes as she stepped into a seat on the Hogwarts Express. She wore a black leather bustier, a blue plaid mini trimmed with black lace, ripped black fishnets, and black lace-up platform boots. On her face was lots and lots of black eyeliner, blood-red lipstick, and matching eyeshadow. Her skin was pale white from the lack of sunlight, and she was slender, but with curves in all the right places. She took out her iPod and put on an Evanescence song at full volume. Some preps stared at her.

(Most normal people regardless if they are preps or not would stare at you.)

"Oh my like god, what are you, like, listening to?" Gasped Luna, who was sitting on another seat with a bunch of giggly blonde preps wearing a pink mini, a slutty pink halter top and Gucci shoes.

(Raven both you and Tara have no room to talk when it comes to slutty clothes. What exactly do you have against Luna?)

She looked exactly like Hilary Duff and some preps next to her giggled. Maya stuck up her white-skinned middle finger at them. They gasped and Hermione went back to listening to her iPod. She then changed the song to a My Chemical Romance one and tried to drown out the prep's voices by listening to Gerard's incredible, sexy voice and thinking about him.

(Once again Raven please point on the doll where Hilary touched you. There was no reason for you to give the preps the middle finger. You're just provoking people because of your stupid high school clique bullshit mentality.)

Suddenly, someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Fuck!" She screamed.

She then looked behind her and Virginia (There's you Tara love you girl!) and Cho, whose nickname is Dementia after her middle name, (Filly you rock bitch, MCR also rocks 666!) were standing next to her, looking excited. Ginny was wearing a sexy black corset dress with red lacing, pink fishnets and black high heeled boots. She was wearing black lipstick and eyeliner and her hair was blood-red, with black tips. Dementia had new purple streaks in long, silky ebony hair and was wearing a torn black MCR t-shirt, a ripped black and red plaid mini, safety pin earrings and black combat boots with heels.

(Really? Virginia? That's the least sounding goth name ever.)

"Well, that's nice." Said Dementia.

"Oh, sorry! Sit down, my bitches." Maya said jokingly.

(I still don't understand your obsession with calling people bitches.)

Her friends trooped in and sat next to her. Maya noticed now who she was sitting behind...Draco Malfoy. As he heard her voice, he looked around coyly for a split-second and then looked back. His hair was dyed black and slicked back (AN: Kind of like Tom Felton in the first movie). His eyes were icy blue and suggested inner depths of darkness. Maya and the girls then high-fived and chatted for a while. After some time, Ginny asked…

(Nothing better than a good old fashioned high five to pass the time.)

"So have you seen the guys?"

"You mean Harry and Ron? No." said Maya.

"Well, you better find them soon because they're gonna be lovin' your new look." said Dementia.

(Yeah I beg to differ!)

Just then, the train stopped and the girls got out, grinning, freaking out preps.

(I doubt it was just preps who were freaked out.)

Maya didn't see Harry or Ron, but she just might have seen a boy in leather pants, a leather jacket, black hair, and blue eyes smile at her.

(Yes I also find it weird when Jesus smiles at as well.)

**The End **

This is the end of all of Tara and Raven's stories as far as I can tell at least. Commentary for this story isn't as good since there was only one chapter and it was short. Anyways if you still crave more My Immortal related stuff I'm working on a new story currently. It takes place in the My Immortal universe. It focuses on four new characters but takes place during Ebony and friends' story. Ebony and the others aren't the main focus though and only show up every once in awhile. But other than that I don't have anything else My Immortal related I'm afraid.


End file.
